1st OB Appointent

Another big milestone moment today with my first obstetrician appointment complete. My GP referred me back to the same ObGyn that I saw prior to going to the fertility clinic. He sent the referral back in April on the same day as my  second beta HCG, but since my RE would be following the pregnancy through the first trimester, the OB appointment wasn’t scheduled until June 29th. I remember at the time feeling like that was a long ways off. My husband was also counting down the days and really looking forward to another check on the little squirt. He met my at my office and we walked to the appointment together as it’s only a block away from where I work. How wonderful not to have to spend 4 hours in the car driving for each appointment.

The receptionist remembered me from when I was last there a year and a half ago and congratulated us on the pregnancy. I asked her to check my file for my RE’s discharge summary, but with the postal strike it hadn’t yet arrived so I quickly called the fertility clinic and had them fax a copy up.

She checked my address and other details and then took me off to the washroom to pee in a cup, and took the dreaded body weight measurements. When I came back my husband asked what they were testing my pee for. I told him that maybe they want to run their own pregnancy test to see if it’s really true. No, seriously there are proteins and infections they check for routinely.

It was a bit of a wait to see the Dr. DH picked up one of the baby care magazines while we waited. He later informed me all about newborn bathing techniques he read about -LOL.

The doctor was happy to see me back at his office, this time for exciting reasons. We got caught up to speed on all that had happened since we’d last seen each other -he patiently listened to my lengthly rendition. Whew, that took a while. He had a look over my RE’s notes and decided that he didn’t need to order any more blood work because it had already been done. He then asked what we were planning to do about the prenatal testing. This one always makes me nervous because I have strong feelings about the reasons we chose not to do any of the screening tests for Down Syndrome or other chromosomal issues. I explained our choice and the rationale, and to my surprise my OB said he agreed with our decision and probably would have suggested doing just what we had done.
He asked if we had any other questions, and the only one I could come up with was regarding when to finish work. He asked me what I was thinking and I told him 36 weeks because I could use up vacation hours and holiday closures to cover the month of December. My due date is new year’s eve. He seemed to think that plan would be just fine, and predicted that I’d most likely deliver early in the new year. He stressed that pregnancy is not a disease, and that from this point forward the risk of miscarriage is extremely low so even though it was so difficult to get pregnant, there should be no difference from any other run of the mill pregnancy. He said I can lift and do whatever physical activity I feel comfortable with.

The chit chat out of the way, he asked me to climb up on the table. How many times have I climbed aboard a gynecological table in the past few years? This time was different though because I was allowed to remain fully clothed. He took a quick blood pressure check -totally normal. Then he felt my tummy and found the top of my uterus -totally normal again. Next he asked if we’d like to hear the baby’s heartbeat, and of course we both did.  For a moment that nervousness crept in and I worried that there would be no heartbeat found, but just then we heard the whoosh-whash whoosh-whash. He had to chase the baby around a little to get a full reading of the heart rate -160 beats per minute. Then between heart beats there was a loud thud noise. He giggled and told us we have a really active little one in there because that loud noise was a kick.

Lastly I had to schedule another appointment in a month’s time, and this would be the norm for the next few months. He’ll order the anatomical ultrasound at 19 weeks, and that would likely be the only one I’d need unless there is a specific reason to do subsequent ones.

Telling the Great-Grands

I am so fortunate to have my own grandparents still living, and close by. My grandmother had a stroke in the fall, and now lives at a senior's facility, but is still able to join us for family events. Last weekend was father's day, and I decided to host a lunch to celebrate and to share the news with them of the new great-grandbaby on the way.

They were both very happy of course to hear the news. My grandfather said "was this a surprise?". I had to chuckle when everyone in the room (my parents, my sister, my husband and I) all replied "NO!" at the same time. My grandmother was more quiet, but was beaming in her own way. She had experienced miscarriages back in her childbearing times, and I think on some level she had a sense that conceiving wasn't coming easily for me. We pulled up the latest grainy ultrasound pics on the computer screen and she sprung out of the chair and trucked over with her walker to have a peak. They were both in awe that with today's technology, you can see the baby before it is born.

Before my grandmother had her stroke she was an avid knitter. We used to call her the knitting machine because it seemed she was always churning out something or another -often baby sweaters, hats, or blankets. She has decided to try to get back to doing her knitting again. Maybe now that she has a great-grandchild on the way this will be the motivation she needs. My sister went over this week to help her get started on a simple blanket. During her visit, my sister had all the nurses and care aids asking her if she was the granddaughter who was expecting (my sister is only 17), so she giggled about that and corrected them.

I hope she is able to do some simple knitting again, it would give her a nice focus. Apparently she has a whole box of her nicest works of knitted baby items at her apartment that she'd set aside years ago for her great-grandbabies. What a treat it will be to open that up!

A new home for my blog

I've reached the 13 week milestone -Hello 2nd trimester! Now I'm just waiting for that wave of energy to hit like I keep reading about in all the books.


I've also decided to find a new home for my blog. I have been itching to blog about all the wonderful things about being pregnant (and complain about a few of the less fun parts too), but ivf(dot)ca just doesn't feel like the most respectful venue for that. That is how the idea for a new site came about.

My old blog posts have been copied to the new site, but will remain in the ivf(dot)ca archives.

The process of moving the posts over took me back down an incredible emotional roller coaster of the past year and a half or so since I began my blogging habit. Wow what a time! I still wake up every day and wonder how I possibly arrived here.

While it was incredible reading my musings, it was even more incredible reading the comments (I copied these over as well). I'm so grateful for the outpouring of support I have received and don't plan to leave ivf(dot)ca anytime soon, because I want to return that same support to others who are still in the trenches.

I have made the new blog public, so your comments are welcome. I hope this is as interactive as the original. There are several options for following along with updates including the e-mail widget on the left side bar, and the standard RSS feed.

As per my previous blog, there will be a mix of funny story telling, and serious emotional moments. A warning to readers though, the content will be pregnancy/baby related, as I adjust to the wonderful new phase of life.

First Veggie Harvest

16 June 2011

Back in early April on the day after my egg retrieval, my husband and I planted the first seeds of the season in our little veggie garden. After a poor crop last season, we decided to put a better effort in this year so we replenished the soil with organic matter, and made sure to be on top of the regular watering. Plants can't grow in poor soil, or without adequate water or light. Similar to my 2010 IVF attempt where the uterine lining was irregular, and then with surgical correction and the right hormone balance it was able to grow back much healthier for the 2011 cycles.

We're now enjoying those baby salad greens, topped with radishes and peas. It's symbolic in a way that the seeds were germinating as our embryo divided into 2 cells, 4 cells, 8 cells and then implanted as the seedlings were putting their roots down. The next 3 months were spent dividing and growing in size just like the baby. Now those seeds have become the food that is nourishing our growing little one. In a few more weeks we'll have enough of a supply that we won't be buying produce from the grocery store at all. Ah... summer.

Coming out of the PG Closet

15 June 2011

Up until this last ultrasound my husband and and kept the news of this pregnancy to ourselves and the grandparents-to-be (and the whole ivf.ca community LOL). Something changed in my husband when he saw all that waving and kicking and a smiling (beaming) fertility doctor at the other end of the u/s wand. It was like he suddenly felt very connected to this little being, and he started telling everyone he'd see (even strangers) that we were expecting a baby. He's sprung into full renovation mode to start preparing the house. I even catch him every now and again reading my pregnancy books!

I guess for me it happened much more gradually, and I was still happy to wait a couple more weeks to start spreading the news. Although it is getting more and more difficult to hide my bump. With my husband's excitement, I was forced to tell my supervisor at work, so that she wouldn't hear it from someone else first. This was not a task I was looking forward to. If you've followed my blog for a while you'll remember that she can be very nosy and ask a lot of personal questions. I chose not to share about the whole IVF business at work, but did use a lot of sick time for doctor's appointments and "surgeries".

I broke the news to her yesterday that I am pregnant. She was very happy for me, and was surprised (most other people we've told already had their suspicions). Then she started asking whether I would have a complicated pregnancy because of my previous surgeries and I simply said the doctors didn't think so and we are putting all that past stuff behind us and just enjoying the pregnancy. That seemed to nip that one in the bud.

She's now got ample warning to try to find someone to cover the maternity leave. She asked me when I was planning to work up until. I told her assuming that I do have an uncomplicated pregnancy, I'd like to try to work up to 36 weeks but that I'll have to ask my OB how realistic that is given how physical my job demands are. Any advice on this from those of you who've been there before?

Graduation Day

11 June 2011

It is said that it takes an entire village to raise a child, well, sometimes it takes a whole village just to create one. As I wrote out a thank you card to the staff at VFC that were involved in our care, I realized there were 12 people and each and every one of them played an important role in making this dream a reality.

Yesterday was our last appointment at the fertility clinic. It was a bit of a different ride down the Island, because instead of driving our car, we were in a rented moving truck. My brother needed help clearing out the furniture from his recently sold condo, so DH, my dad, and I piled in and off we went.

It was a bit tricky finding somewhere to park our big rig, but luckily the church parking lot a block away from the clinic was empty. My dad walked us to the door of the clinic, and I invited him to come along for the ultrasound, but then warned him that it was not the type that they put the little paddle on your tummy. Blush. He opted to go for a walk while we had our appointment.

My RE came into the room and said, "good to see you, you must be about 8 weeks along now." "No", I said, "I'm nearly 11 weeks." He glanced at my chart and said "10 weeks, 6 days -where does the time go." Ok, maybe for him it's flown by, but I've been feeling anxious about this ultrasound for a couple of weeks! Would everything be OK in there? What if they find no heartbeat, or that the baby stopped growing?

In went the wand and up came our baby on the screen. Mini-Silver was very active - wiggling around like crazy. We saw the hands waving several times and a few karate chop kicks. Dr. H commented on how we've got a real mover and shaker in there as he chased after the little being trying to get some measurements. This scan was very thorough. Dr. H took a lot of measurements, and pointed out all the body parts -legs, arms, eyes, nose mouth, hands, feet, heart, belly button and from the top down you could even see the two lobes of the brain! He turned on the sound so we could hear the heart beat again. Everything looked great and we have one very healthy little peanut in there. My cervix was nice and long and the fibroid is not causing any trouble, and the placenta was in a good location.

Afterwards in his office we discussed the transfer to my local OB. He asked me what we'd decided to do about the prenatal testing. We told him we'd thought long and hard about it and had decided not to do the NT scan, the IPS blood tests, or the amnio. He smiled and agreed that it likely wasn't necessary, and then sheepishly admitted that he already did the NT measurements during today's ultrasound and they looked just fine! Well there you go.

We've officially graduated from the clinic. It was odd not booking another appointment as we left. This was appointment #32 in just under a year and a half.
It's such, huge relief that another big hurdle has been cleared, and I feel so blessed to be so fortunate especially when I know there are so many who are still in the trenches.

My dad met up with us again, and we showed him the pictures. He thinks it's a boy! He'll have to wait until around New Years Eve to find out, because we are not planning to find out ahead of time. Oh yeah, my official due date is Dec 31st.

We got all of my brother's stuff moved, and that went smoothly too. I was chief door opener and elevator holder while my dad and DH moved all the stuff.

I'll be happy not to have to make that drive again, but I'll admit I shed a bit of a tear saying goodbye to the team of people that had been so good to us and a big part of our lives. I'm crying again just writing this out -I'll blame that on the hormones. Bye bye VFC village, hello new village that we are still piecing together and figuring out.

A New Yoga Class

08 June 2011

I went to my first prenatal yoga class last night. I've been doing yoga for years, but lately I've been finding the regular classes are not working as well for me with some of the positions. During the last standard class I went to I ended up having to modify 2/3 of the poses, so I decided it was time to drop in to the prenatal class and see what all the buzz was all about.

I've been experiencing a lot of fatigue in the first trimester, so in order to make it through the evening class I made sure I had a good nap after work and a light meal to keep my tummy from feeling queasy. Yoga pants on... thank goodness those still fit. Now I was all set and ready to go. Was I though? This is uncharted territory I'm entering. Would I fit in with all the regular pregnant people after years of yearning for a membership to their club? Because I'm still "in the closet" so to speak with this pregnancy, I was also bit worried that I'd see someone there from work or other connections. I timed my arrival so as not to be too early so that I wouldn't be spotted by anyone leaving the class immediately before mine. When I entered the room I did a quick scan of the faces. Whew, there was nobody there that I knew thank goodness. As I glanced around, I was surprised to notice that I was one of the youngest women there. I think fertility treatments can really make a girl feel older than she is!

Before we started the class, the instructor asked us to go around the room and say our names, how far along we were, and whether this was our first or subsequent baby. There were people at 16 weeks all the way up to 39 weeks -quite a variety of belly shapes and sizes. Some were expecting their first, some their second, and one woman was even having her third! I was of course the only one still in the first trimester with a tiny bump. Before it was my turn to speak, I rehearsed what to say in my head. "Hi, I'm Silverdollar and I am 10 weeks + 3 days, so I just look fat and not really pregnant yet, oh, and this is my first and likely only baby." Whoa, wait a minute -10+3, nobody in the non-fertility world talks like that. Edit: "Hi, I'm Silverdollar and I'm about 10 weeks along with my first."

There were lots of references to various exercises helping with labour and delivery (apparently the biggest pain a woman will ever go through) Hmmm.. I guess if you've never had your tubes flushed with dye, adhesions removed from your reproductive organs, your eggs extracted from your body, or your uterus scraped out without any pain management, then labour would be on a whole new level of pain. Not that I'm in a place of thinking about labour yet, or have illusions that it will be easy, but it honestly doesn't worry me too much because I know I'm being cared for by a great OB. OB's -right most normally pregnant women are under the care of a midwife or GP -I better not mention my OB, hospital birth, whatever intervention is needed to get the baby out safely plan. I thought everyone there would be all about having au natural, unmedicated, home birth style labours, but one woman mentioned how great Fentanol was -Ha ha, yes I had that drug during my egg retrieval, and it was a goodie.

It ended up feeling like a really welcoming bunch. The woman next to me even commented on how impressed she was that I was getting out to classes already at 10 weeks. Really? Could I actually fit in with these pregnant people? Even though I still feel like an imposter in this sea of calm glowing pregnant women, when I'm just anxious to get though every week of this without something going terribly wrong. I decided I'm going to go back again next week and keep working at it. Maybe their energy will rub off on me?