Long Overdue Post

Gah! It's been way too long since I posted anything on my blog. My days seem to be passing by quickly, well, admittedly sometimes they don't feel that way in the moment, but then I blink and another week or month is coming to a close.

What's happened since the summer, and why have I been so slack on posting?

We did a trip to visit extended family in Ontario for a week. Both babies flew as lap infants which posed it's minor challenges, but they both proved to be good little adaptable travelers. We are planning a vacation at the end of November to Kauai, but going with my parents this time so there will be lots of extra hands.

The other change since the summer is Kai's increasing mobility and major sleep regression. I was hoping for an easier time with sleep this time around, but it's been rough and I can't just nap when he does because I have a toddler to chase. It began at around 4 months with hourly wake ups, tons of night nursing, shorter naps, and increased clinginess during the day. He, just like his sister seems resistant to any form of sleep training -we have tried. I'm really hopeful that we are nearing the end as he turns the corner into 6 months next weekend.

We've also had our share of viruses. I guess that's par for the course with attending toddler drop in programs. It's rough when we get hit double and both of them fall ill (or worse my husband and I catch it too).  The latest one to hit us was croup. Ugh, it's a scary one with the compromised breathing. Luckily I've been able to manage it at home so far.

I've also been on my own a fair bit this fall with my husband out of town. Thankfully I've had the help of my parents. I really don't know how single parents do it.

That's it. Hopefully I'll be able to post a more exciting update soon.

Eggiversary

One year ago today my DH came home for one night that month in between his out of town jobs and somehow by some miracle my son managed to be conceived. It still seems quite unbelievable to me that we got this gift. Happy eggiversary.

Camping

It's been almost a month since I last posted. Where does the time go?  Anika is now 19 months and Kai is 3 months. We've been camping twice in the last month and have learned a few things in the process.

Firstly, the parent who is watching the babies (usually mom) is paralyzed from being able to help with any other task leaving the other parent (usually dad) completely on their own with any set up/ clean up etc.

We have gone back to tenting. The first trip we slept in our van, which was fine but we've decided the van camping days were better when we were a couple traveling without children. It takes a bit of work to convert the back seats into the bed mode and with uninstalling and reinstalling two rear facing car seats each time we want to go somewhere, it just isn't time effective, especially considering the paralyzed parent situation noted above. Also the baby had to sleep in a travel bassinet on the console, so that solution would really only last us another few weeks until he starts rolling over.

Toddlers are extremely skilled at getting into things they shouldn't. They can find and try to ingest cigarette butts, sticks, rocks, pine cones, and leaves. My heart skipped a beat or two when I heard not once, but twice my daughter say "knife" only to look up to see that she'd grabbed a knife off the picnic table that we thought was well out of her reach. Thank goodness for good language skills and total toddler honesty.

Clip on travel highchairs are the best invention ever! Once a toddler is buckled in and busy with a snack you've got 15 minutes that you can sit down too, or do something, or give the baby some attention. Fully enclosed travel playpens are another wonderful invention. We used this for naps and nighttime sleeps in the tent and didn't have to worry about her migrating around. Both of these products are Phil and Teds like our double stroller. Gosh I love the Kiwi inginuity of those two blokes.

Camping creates a mountain of laundry. There is no getting around this one, it just does. We had 6 loads to do when we got home.


You might as well go for 3 or 4 nights because 1 or 2 still takes the same amount of packing and unpacking.

We used to be the backcountry campers that enjoyed going to the harder to get to spots where nobody else would be, so we are still adjusting to the more front country style of camping but are seeing the benefit of having some amenities. A small playground on the campground can be a real bonus, especially if it has a swing.

I think we'll try for one more camping trip in September.

Grandma

I got mistaken for a grandmother this week, not once but twice! How can this be? I'm 35, turning 36 next month. Have I really aged that much since having kids?

I promptly went out and got my hair cut and started throwing in some brief jogging sets to our daily walks. Time to spruce up a bit.

Both of the people who made the error were seniors, and I suppose in their day people had kids younger (or just started having kids younger). My maternal grandmother had her 6th baby at 42 just for the record.

Anyway, I know I'm not a spring chicken, but honestly, I don't think I'm quite grandmother material yet. And what grandmother would be breastfeeding a newborn strapped to her chest in a sling? That part must have been so discreet they didn't notice.

The Odds

A friend of mine has been wanting me to come to a La Leche League meeting for a while so I went today for the first time. I had my dynamic duo with me and when I introduced myself and said that my son was conceived when my daughter was just 7 months and exclusively breastfeeding, there was an awkward silence in the room for a moment while everyone paused to think about their current birth control methods. It made me also think about the incredible odds we overcame to have our little boy.

Apparently I defy all the rules they teach of a mom who was nursing on demand around the clock for both nourishment and comfort. I was among the 7% that had the return of my period before 6 months postpartum, and was among the 2-6% that conceive during this time.

If they only knew the entire story! We were given a 5% chance of conceiving with IVF and less than 1% on our own. DH also works away a fair bit and was only home one night last August.

So if you look at all these factors cumulatively, I think our chances were slimmer than winning the lottery. We won the lottery of life in such an incredible way.

Sleeping arrangements

Well, my 18 month old is a step ahead of me all the time. Yesterday she managed to rock and flip the baby's playpen over onto herself. Thankfully I was nursing the baby at the time, so he wasn't in it. I had it as a "safe drop spot" for the baby in the living room, but obviously it is no longer safe. The playpen was immediately folded up and his new full size crib has now been erected in the living room. It will stay there, rather than in the kid's bedroom until we're ready to have them together.

Downstairs we have another sleeping arrangement predicament. The mini playpen bassinet top maxes out at 15 lbs. little guy is pushing the limit already at 2 months of age. I like having him right next to my bed at bedside height right now because its so handy for nursing. There is not enough room for a full size crib there, so my options are to lower the playpen mattress, of get a different bassinet with a heavier weight limit. A friend if mine has I offered to loan me her Arm's Reach Cosleeper for a couple of months so that may be the best short term solution. Once he starts rolling, we'll have to go back to the drawing board again. Something tells me I might be moving onto a mattress in the living room next to the crib for a while.

Luckily on the actual sleeping front, we're actually doing quite well. Kai has settled into a pattern of a 5-6 hour stretch in the early part of the night (7pm-midnight) followed by a 3 hour and a 2 hour stretch with breaks for nursing in between. Anika sleeps like a log from 6:30pm to 6am. Many days I can get their early afternoon naps to overlap by 30-60 min. When they do, it's bliss.

Fortune Cookie Wisdom

I'm on day 10 of a 12 day stretch on my own. It's been going as well as can be expected. Fortunately my parents have been around to help out for about an hour or so most days most often when I am feeding, bathing and putting my daughter to bed. The days are long sometimes, but also seem to fly by in some ways. Who knew you could eat up half an hour just getting kids packed up into the car?

Anyway, I opened a rather stale fortune cookie from last week's Chinese takeout and this is what it said (see photo below)

Yes, oh wise cookie, you are most correct. Next summer I will be chasing not one but two toddlers! My maternity leave will be over and I'll be making some tough decisions around returning to work. I know life is going to unfold as it will. For now I'm enjoying my summer "off" with the littles.

A Day in the Life

I've been asked by a few people what my average day looks like. Well, each and every day is a bit different, but I'll try to paint a general picture.

5:15 am -this seems to be the baby's most common wake up time. Breastfeed, change diaper. Listen for toddler. If awake, skip to the next step and try again the next day for a shower. If not awake yet or just starting to stir, strap baby into bouncy chair and jump in the shower for a most glorious 5 min where I can imagine myself on a tropical beach somewhere. Oh, baby is slumping and tiring of the chair, so quickly dry off and get dressed.

6:00 -toddler is most probably wide awake now. Pop the baby into the sling and go to get the toddler out of her crib. Change the toddler's diaper. Baby may also need another change by now too. Climb the stairs with the baby in the sling and toddler holding one hand.

6:15 -feed the hungry toddler breakfast. The baby is starting to fuss at the same time because he's been wake an hour and is tired and ready for a nap. Swaddle, and rock the baby while retrieving the dropped soother a dozen times to coax a nap while shovelling some cold toast and lukewarm tea down myself.

7:00 -poop hour begins. Toddler grunts and announces "big poop" while I'm changing the baby for the third consecutive time and tossing the change pad cover and my own shirt in the laundry from a newborn poop explosion during one of the changes. Select something for toddler to wear that doesn't clash too badly but doesn't involve a group trek downstairs. Baby needs to nurse again.

8am -everyone is dressed and fed. Almost time for baby to be sleepy again. Swaddle, rock, and fetch soother again while toddler plays.

8:30 -Baby is asleep, so pack bags up and get ready for the day's outing. Make sure the diaper bag has two spare diapers and changes of clothes for the baby and one for the toddler.

9:00 -toddler is hungry for a snack. Feed her something not too messy. Baby wakes and is hungry too.

9:45 -everyone is fed and if we need to make an outing, now is the time. Pop baby in the sling again and wrestle toddler into shoes and a sweater. Pack both out to the car. Buckle toddler into car seat. Buckle baby into car seat. Fold stroller and put it in the trunk along with the giant diaper bag. Turn ignition onto accessory and let the children's CD play. Now, my favourite part -run back into the house myself and use the toilet uninterrupted!

10:00 -we are on the road. Arrive at destination and repeat the stroller/toddler/baby unloading process in exactly the reverse of the loading.

10:30 -enjoy whatever outing we are doing. Baby naps in the stroller or sling while I chase toddler.

11:15 -toddler begins to rub eyes and become silly and clumsy. Time to go home. Pack everyone back into the car. Both cry on the way home either alternating or in unison.

11:30 -arrive home. Toddler gets a quick bite of lunch while I change and soothe baby. Change both diapers.

12:00 -nap time. If I'm extremely lucky they both sleep at the same time and I get a snooze or some time to myself. Otherwise I get some 1:1 time with baby while toddler is in her crib.sometimes it takes a while and a few drop ins from me for her to fall asleep. She typically naps for 1-1.5 hours.

2:00 -toddler wakes up. She gets a cup of milk and a snack, and another diaper change.

2:30-4:30 this is the best window of time to get outside for a walk and play at the playground if it's nice. Baby sleeps well in the fresh air while toddler burns off some energy. Return home and change diapers again.

5:00 - dinner time for toddler. Baby is fussy and wants to cluster feed. Mommy juggles both.

5:30 -bath time for toddler. Baby may still be cluster feeding or want to be held so ring sling to the rescue again.

5:50 - PJ's and story for toddler.

6:00 -toddler is in her crib and getting herself off to sleep for the night. Make dinner for the adults, tidy up toys, start evening laundry loads (1diaper, 1other)

7:00-baby's sponge bath or full bath, change diaper and sleeper.

7:30 -baby is usually ready for his longest stretch of sleep now (4 hours). Time to myself, or to spend as a couple between changing laundry over and tidying up the house.

9:30 - bed time for me.

11:30, 2:00, 4:00 -wake for feedings, hope he doesn't poop as well and need to be changed and soothed back to sleep.

Rinse, lather, and REPEAT the next day.

In-law visits

Whew! They are gone... the in-laws.

First came my father in law for one week. He's pretty easy to have around and is helpful but sometimes helpful to a fault. For example last time he visited all of our cast iron cookware got cleaned... right down to shiny silver metal  (cringe) :(

Anyway, his visit co-coincided with Kai's 6 week growth spurt and fussy time. He's so enthusiastic to hold him and play, but the poor little guy got so easily overstimulated that it was so much more work for me to settle him down again.

Then he flew out and the next day my mother in law arrived. That's when the fun began. She is extremely high maintenance and treats visits with us like a full service spa expecting full and prompt service. Hello... we have two children under a year and a half that NEED full and prompt service. She brought along 3 recipes with her for things she said she would like to make. We shopped and got all the ingredients, but somehow DH or I ended up having to prepare and make the recipes, sigh...

She barked at my DH one night to make her a coffee after he had just sat down to get some work done in his office. We showed her where the coffee supplies were and she was not impressed to have to make it herself. One night  Kai was cluster feeding away and she offered to make me a cup of tea. I thought that was really nice. Minutes later she changed her mind I guess and said she didn't know how I wanted it prepared so I should just do it myself. Needless to say I didn't get my tea.

We rented a friend's basement suite apartment for them to stay just 150m down the street, and thought this would be ideal. It was ideal for us, but my mother in law put up a huge fuss about not being able to stay with us. First off we actually don't have anywhere for her to stay other than a foam mattress in the middle of the living room floor. The baby is up 3 times in the night and both kids are up by 6 am bouncing around in there, so staying with us would not be comfortable.


The one that really got me was that she refused to walk the 100 steps to her apartment and demanded we give her a ride in the car. I don't think I've ever made such a short car trip in my life. We love to be active and get outside every day rain or shine. Unfortunately the week she was here we had fairly wet weather on and off and she wouldn't dream of going out in it. Finding things that she was willing to do, and that we could manage to do with two young kids was a challenge. We spent a lot of time at home tripping over each other.

Fortunately, she did really enjoy playing with Anika so that kept them both busy while I managed the laundry, cleaning up and the baby's feeding, changing and soothing to sleep routines on 4-5 hours of broken sleep and DH juggled working and cooking.

So, yes now we have our space back. It's so nice to slip into less chaotic routines again. We've definitely decided that having 3 kids would be too much to juggle.

6 weeks

Both Kai and I had 6 week doctor's appointments this week.

He tipped the scales weighing in at 12lbs 5 oz. making his weight gain nearly 1 lb per week! That's pretty amazing that breast milk alone can make such a chubby bubby.

My visit with my OB was kind of a fond farewell. I've been seeing him since 2009. Apparently the small tear I had from the delivery healed up really nicely and I was given the go ahead to resume exercise and intercourse.

My OB then asked what our plan as far as birth control was. Yes, it's such an odd situation to be in. I can't use hormonal methods while breastfeeding, and have had more than my fair share of gynaecological procedures, so DH is most likely going to have a vasectomy in the fall when his work is at a slower time. The irony of that just kills me after all of the time, money and emotional turmoil we went through to conceive our daughter. Anyway, he now has a referral to the urologist to discuss things further. My OB said there is less than a 1% chance of getting pregnant while exclusively breastfeeding for the first 6 months. I pointed to my baby and reminded him that we conceived him in those very circumstances when my daughter was 7 months old, so we'd be using condoms in the interim just in case. As much as I like the fantasy of having a third child, the reality is that we are so incredibly blessed to have one, much less two beautiful healthy children and our family is complete.

On route home I stopped at the drugstore and purchased a small package of condoms. I felt like a teenager all over again. Of course I bought a few other items so I could sandwich the condoms between them at the checkout to make it somewhat less embarrassing. LOL, maybe they'll make us feel like randy teenagers again?

A little math

I took both kids to a birthday party yesterday (on my own I should mention -whoop toot!) for a little friend of my daughter's who was turning one.

There were 3 sets of parent's there with 8 month old babies. Each of them asked me at different moments what the ages of my babies were. When I told them 17 months and 5 weeks the response was "oh", followed by an awkward pause. I could almost see the wheels turning in their heads doing the math and realizing that I was already pregnant with my second by the time my first was the age their babies are now. It felt like it was a good reminder to use birth control or something. It was pretty much a conversation ender, and from there another subject was brought up.

I have to think of something witty to say that will break the ice a bit next time. Hmmm... Any ideas?

Fending for Myself

I made it through an 8 day stretch with my husband being away for work... And the house is still standing and everyone has all their limbs.

All kidding aside, it wasn't easy peasy, but it wasn't too bad really. There were 3 tricky things:

1. Getting myself showered and dressed for the day. Many days I had to skip the shower all together and just throw on a pair of pants I could pull up with one hand. Thank you Lu Lu Lemon!

2. Groceries, and cooking. Yes, if there is one quick way to lose pregnancy pounds it would be doing the toddler dash with a hungry newborn at the breast all day, and then getting to 8pm and realizing you forgot to eat more than a few snacks here and there. I did not stock up on near enough chocolate! We needed milk once and luckily I was able to call upon gramma and grampa to take my toddler.

3. Dinner/Bath/Bedtime routine. There is no flexibility on this one. It also often coincides with cluster feeding/ fussy hour for the little guy. We had one night that if you were walking by my house and heard all the screaming you would have for certain called social services. My toddler had a complete meltdown about putting on her diaper and PJ's, all while the newborn was gassy.

The rest of the time things actually went quite smoothly. We got out for walks, went to the park, and did some baking and arts and crafts between the 20 some odd diaper changes and feedings. I even got more sleep than usual because I'd just crash when they were both asleep day or night.

Boy am I glad to have hubby back! Hats off to all the single parents out there! I have an entirely new respect.

Infertility Awareness BBQ

It's that time of year again... Infertility Awareness week and the annual Victoria Fertility Clinic BBQ. I really wanted to attend, even though I knew it would be a big day with four hours of total driving time for both kids and me being just 3 weeks postpartum. DH was working, so I roped my 19 year old sister into coming along to help chase my toddler and off we went. The weather was not co-operative, so they held the event indoors but had it very well organized to accommodate the approximately 350 people. It was so nice to meet some new faces and see some familiar ones as well.  I didn't have much time to chat or catch up, and it kind of felt like a blur, but I'm glad we made the effort to go.  After a slow journey back with multiple stops and a chorus of crying overtired babies, we made it home in one piece, so all in all, I consider it a success.

I felt like a bit of an imposter there at times walking around with my new little guy. I guess I awkwardly straddle the infertile and fertile worlds but don't truly fit in either one. I know it's not like my kids have a big stamp on them saying "IVF" and "DIY" but all of the clinic staff and my counselor knew our story. The acupuncturist wasn't in the loop, and she did a double take.  One woman I sat next to had a 7 week old baby and commented that she is aiming to have another one as soon as possible and she as glad to see it was possible. She asked me if I had to get a new referral and if there was a wait to see the doctor again. I am terrible at telling lies, so I fessed up and came out and told her that my son was a surprise spontaneous pregnancy after a convoluted journey to have our daughter. I felt incredible guilty at that point, even though she seemed happy but surprised to hear my response.

They took a group photo of all of the kids that were there. I noticed that some of the people who attended who are still in the active treatment stage found this extremely hard. Kudos to them for attending in the first place. Just a couple of years ago that was me. That feeling of wanting a family so badly but not being able to have it is still near and dear to my heart. I guess I still relate to the infertile world better that the fertile one in that regard. I don't know how it could be made any easier aside from reaching out to help support others in their journey, wherever that may be. They had a petition for IVF government funding and some fundraisers for people who need fertility treatment because of having cancer. Every little bit of support counts. It's such a great reminder of why I truly feel like the luckiest woman alive to have two beautiful healthy little children in my life.

Photo (from Elements of Health Centre) We are in black and white on the floor in the lower left corner:

Free Hands

"You've sure got your hands full" is a comment I hear so frequently and it kind of rubs me the wrong way sometimes when the tone is a bit judgmental.

Yesterday we went for a walk as a family of 4, and my daughter was busy collecting treasures (rock, leaves, and flowers). She loves to carry them all home in her little fists. Some older women passed by and said what else but "you've sure got your hands full". My husband responded back that she would carry home the whole beach if she could fit it in her hands, referring to my daughter and her paws full of collected treasures. We were talking about it during the rest of the walk and he didn't even realize they were referring to us and not our toddler.

I realize it's just an expression but it does start to get a bit tired after a while, especially when I've literally got two free hands. So, I've started playing a little game with it. There is a  group in town that collects baby carriers and wraps to loan to moms who don't have the financial means to purchase them. I said a while back that if I had a dollar for every time someone told me my "hands were full" when they were actually not that I'd have enough to supply every mom in our community with a baby carrier to keep her hands free. So now when I hear that comment I silently donate a dollar to the fund on behalf of the stranger making the comment. If if's someone I know, I teasingly give them one warning but if they say it again they must cough up a dollar. Since Kai was born 2.5 weeks ago, I've raised $ 22 -not too bad.

I prefer to think of it as one friend suggested -my heart is very full but my hands are free a lot of the time and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Mother's Day

I posted the following status update on my Facebook account this morning:

"I feel so incredibly fortunate today to be a mom to two beautiful babies and to have a mom in good health. Not everyone is so lucky -remembering those sisters on Mother's Day too."

I know how heartbreaking this weekend can be when you would exchange your right arm for the opportunity to be a mother. What made it easier for me during those times was to focus on my own mother and celebrating the day for her. I can't imagine how it must feel to have lost your mother. My sincerest thoughts are with these incredibly strong women in my life this weekend.

On a lighter note, Anika coloured me a card and picked me "dandies" and daisies on our walk this afternoon. We had a family brunch at home and Kai napped while DH fed Anika dinner so I could lie down for half an hour. These are honestly the best gifts a mom could ask for.

As I type this, I can hear DH on the monitor reading Anika her bedtime stories. She spontaneously decided to change the wording of one of her books tonight and I thought it was rather fitting:

(The answers according to the book are "goo goo", "boo hoo", "yum yum", wah wah", and "night night", but I think Anika's responses are actually more accurate!)

What does the happy baby say? "Mama"
What does the sad baby say? "Mama"
What does the hungry baby say? "Mama"
What does the cranky baby say? "Mama"
What does the sleepy baby say? "Mama"

First Days

I am holding a sleeping baby while my toddler naps, so have a brief window of time to start writing a blog post typing with one thumb on my Blogger IPhone App.

So, how are things going as a mommy of two? So far so good. DD is surprisingly more settled and happy than she was right before DS arrived. We'd done a lot of preparing her, in hindsight perhaps too much, and I think she wasn't quite sure what it would mean for her. Now that he's here she is happy to have us both home more, and extra attention from gramma and grandpa. She is incredibly gentle with the baby and is very affectionate. The only unfortunate thing is that she caught a cold the day he was born, so we've had to be really vigilant about keeping her from spreading it to him.

I have been out for a couple of walks in our neighbourhood with them, but haven't ventured out anywhere else yet on my own. Maybe next week.

I've believed in baby wearing right from my DD's earliest moments. I used my ring sling most with her, and our Beco carrier (similar to the Ergo). With this guy it's not optional -it's out of necessity to be able to manage even around the house doing simple tasks like lifting her in or out of her crib. I've now got a baby store array of various carriers and am experimenting with wrapping techniques using 5m long pieces of linen. I also find I'm using the ring sling most often as its so quick and easy, and I can nurse in it.

It's only happened a few times when they both needed mommy at the same moment and I wasn't able to do both things. DD is learning to wait, and DS is even a little more patient when he starts rooting, and milk isn't right there. He finds his fingers and that tides him over momentarily.

For now we seem to be falling into some patterns and managing. I'm so blessed to have relatively easy going babies and family around for support.

Ok my thumb is worn out. Signing off. Thank you for all of the posts, emails, and well wishes!

Our new arrival

Kai Nathan Silver was born last night May 2nd weighing 7lbs 10 oz and measuring 19.5 " long.

His birth story is quite uneventful really. I started making a pizza for dinner last night at about 6:30. Kneaded dough between contractions until they became 4-5 min apart. We had just put my daughter to bed, so called my mom to come over to stay with her. We arrived at the hospital at 7:30, luckily my OB was the one on duty. They checked us in and things progressed really quickly from there. By 9:30 I was starting to push and he was born at 9:58 pm. My DH later went home to get the pizza that I'd started making and brought it back to the hospital. Pizza never tasted so good! We were discharged home at 9 am this morning.

My daughter came to meet him this morning and is staying an extra day with my parents while we get settled in. She is enthralled with him. He's already figured out his latch and is a content little guy. So far so good.

Some Last Minute Stuff

OK, I'm 2 days from my due date and now the old cervix is now 4 cm dilated and 80% effaced. I'm getting pretty uncomfortable, and can't imagine going another 2 weeks if it comes to that. DH finally packed his PJ's, toiletries and camera in the hospital bag last night.

I have been terrible about doing belly shots this time. I think this is my 3rd one. Anyway, here it is and we also managed to squeeze in a little photo shoot last week with the beautiful spring weather.

Estimated Date of Confinement

I learned a while back that the medical term for "due date" is actually the estimated date of confinement. I was thinking about this the other day and in some ways for a mommy of two just over a year apart in age, this may actually be an appropriate description. I'm one week away from my due date and feel like I have a million and one things on my to do list to complete in that time. Things that don't get done, just won't happen in the next several months or even years.  I also feel like I'm going to be lucky to have showers, or leave my house for a long while. My me time will be a thing of the past. This past week I've been treating myself to fancy drinks at coffee shops, reading, and sewing up a storm when my daughter is not with me. Don't get me wrong I still feel like the luckiest woman alive to have not just one, but two miracles. Life wouldn't be interesting if nothing ever changed.

The old cervix was checked yesterday and it's 2cm dilated and 75% effaced. I've had a fair bit more cramping, discharge and pelvic pressure since yesterday's check, so If I had to guess this little guy is coming right around the estimated date. Fingers crossed for a quick labour and uncomplicated delivery.

Off work

I finished up at work on Friday after seeing my doctor on Thursday. He recommended I stop working given all the cramping I've been having and that my weight and measurements hadn't changed in 3 weeks. He felt my baby needed all the energy I have to stay put and grow a bit bigger. I finished just a week and 2 days earlier than planned. Initially the administrator balked at me taking sick time to cover it, and actually had the nerve to tell me that I "wasn't sick, just pregnant". The last I checked pregnancy complications were considered legitimate medical issues. Treating someone that way could actually be considered discrimination. I confronted her about it and she did apologize. It looks like I should be fine to qualify for enough hours to take my maternity leave as long as I stay pregnant for another week.

The baby has dropped a lot in the last few days. I can feel a lot if pressure on my pelvis now, and make about a million trips to the bathroom each day. The nice part is that I can breathe and eat full meals again, so those combined with some rest time should help this little guy grow. I remember last time feeling like the baby was going to fall out of me. My daughter remained in that position for 4 weeks, so I don't think it means I'm going to pop imminently. There's still a ton to get done to feel ready, and my energy is limited, and most of it goes to chasing after my 15 month old. Ah well, I know we'll never be fully prepared.

Anika is quite sturdy on her feet now and is starting to climb everything in sight. She's almost fast enough to get away from me now, especially if I'm sitting on the floor and have to get up to chase her. She giggles and usually goes for something she knows is a No No. I'm sure this isn't what my doctor had in mind in terms of rest!

March 29th

March 29th has always been a memorable date in my world over the past few years.

March 29, 2010 was the date of our long awaited first consultation with Dr. Hudson at the Victoria Fertility Clinic. the referral was made in early September 2009 after we'd been TTC on our own and seeing a local OBGYN for over a year. Over that next year there would be two surgeries, four IUI cycles and two failed attempts to get through IVF.

March 29, 2011 was my "day 2" of the cycle that produced my daughter. I went for an ultrasound and just 4 antral follicles were seen on the screen. We took a leap of faith in pushing ahead with the cycle despite the low odds. It was just the beginning of a turning point when things finally started to go right.

March 29, 2011 we boarded a plane to Europe for a month long trip with our 3 month old daughter in tow. We were so happy to be parents, and felt really complete as a family of 3.

So what did I figure 2013 would bring? I can say honestly I never thought I'd be 8 months pregnant and spending a gorgeous sunny spring day in Victoria with a toddler who was in her element petting the goats and "ba"ing at the sheep at the Beacon Hill Children's farm. We met up with a couple of other moms who were also part of the original Victoria Clinic Pals online support group and it was like no time had passed until you looked at the kids toddling around.

I'm thoroughly looking forward to what the next year will bring.

Dreaming of a beach lounger

Ok, so here's what I've found after experimenting with a few variables over the past few days.

• Drinking lots of water does seen to decrease the intensity of the cramping as long as I make sure to empty my bladder frequently.
• Taking it easy and avoiding physical strain helps somewhat to reduce the frequency of the episodes.
• There also seems to be a connection with emotional stress and sleep quality and the cramping episodes.

So in an ideal world I would lie on a beach lounger while someone brought me non-alcoholic piña coladas all day while I finish gestating. Since that is not going to happen, I've compromised by working part days, getting other people to watch my daughter while I catch a nap, and carrying around a water bottle that I force myself to sip at throughout the day.

It's just over a week until my OB is back and I can speak to him about being off work entirely. I'll be a day shy of 36 weeks at that point, so I'm hanging in there until then.

"GINA"

My little girl learned a new word last night -'GINA' short for Vagina! She was in the bath and as we always do she points to all of her body parts, and we label them as we wash them all. When she came to her girly bits I told her what it was and she repeated back "GINA". Now is quite proud to share her new discovery with everyone. It makes daddy blush. LOL!

Time to Hang Up the Superhero Cape

I've been working full time plus a bit extra at a physical job since early January and I think my body is telling me it has finally reached it's limit. I think it's time to hang up my superhero cape for a little while. I know it's going to have to come out and be extra shiny once this baby arrives, but for now it's looking a bit tired and ragged.

I've had uterine cramping on and off throughout this pregnancy and this week it seems to be on the increase in frequency. I also get the painless Braxton Hicks tightening, but this is different. It's quite mild, and I can usually carry in with what I'm doing without having to breathe through them. It's about the intensity of menstrual cramps when I'd think about reaching for an Advil. I've mentioned it to my OB before and he's never been worried about my "irritable uterus", and feels I'm not at risk for preterm labour because I went to term with my first. Of course he is on a 3 week holiday right now. It was bad enough to keep me awake in the night a few days ago that I ended up calling the L&D unit and speaking with the nurse. She suggested trying to take it easy and see if it helps, but to call back if it gets worse.  I got some help with my 1 year old and didn't lift or carry her for one full day to see if it would help. The rest does help somewhat but the cramps are still there in the background. There are also the expected pregnancy symptoms during the end of the 3rd trimester. The pelvic separation, fatigue, swollen feet, and need to pee every 10 minutes.

This is coupled with things becoming increasingly stressful at work in the past couple of weeks. There is still no applicant for my mat leave position and the administration has now decided to completely axe 2 days a week from our department's staffing after a co-worker resigned leaving the rest of us to pick up the shortfall. They justified it by saying we had a huge deficit to offset. Then the very next day they called a general staff meeting and announced they had a surplus and were giving all staff a $1000 or so bonus based on the hours worked in 2012. Huh? Something doesn't compute. I was steaming and I'm sure if my blood pressure had been taken at that moment it would have been through the roof. Of course because I didn't work any hours in 2012, my bonus is $0 but it's not that that I find upsetting, it's really the bigger picture and cuts to service to the kids and families that bothers me. It certainly doesn't make me motivated to return to the same job in a year's time.


So, I've scaled back my hours at work a bit this week and am drinking tons of water to see if that helps until I see my OB again at the end of next week. I have enough paid sick time that if I need to go off now, I could. I really don't want to leave a bunch of things unfinished at work, so I'm trying to tie up as many loose ends as possible. Most importantly I really need this baby to stay in until at least 38 weeks for the health of the baby and also to qualify for EI maternity benefits. One more month little guy, one more month!

Observations 2nd Time Around

I don't know if this is common among all 2nd time moms, but I've experienced very different treatment out in public this time around.

I remember at this stage of my pregnancy last time I had people leaping out of a washroom line to let me move up, offering me a seat, and practically grabbing heavy things out of my hands to help me carry them. Most often I felt it was a bit overkill, but generally accepted the offers as they came just to be friendly. I'd always get asked if it was my first baby and people would always offer their most sincere congratulations.

This time, perhaps I appear a bit too confident lugging about a 1 year old on one hip while balancing a grocery order on the other, or hiking with my daughter strapped into a child carrier backpack to balance out the large bump on the front? I'm too far along to just look like I haven't shed the postpartum weight. I'm not sure, but I've also come across many judgmental people who make comments about us having another one so quickly (needing to learn about birth control, getting right back in the sack, etc). If I'm not with my daughter and I get asked if this is my first baby, I get a really awkward pause and a bit of a lackluster response to follow. I usually cheerfully chirp back something like "we are really happy and excited about it".

It's going to be really interesting to see what people have to say when they see me about town with two babies in tow. I'll just have to keep a smile plastered on my face and carry on.

2 years of pregnancy

I feel like I've been pregnant for two years... wait a minute, I have been pregnant for the better part of the past two years! My conception date for pregnancy #1 was April 9th2011, so I've officially been pregnant in every month of the year, and many of them twice.Yikes, that's not easy on the body. I've joked with a few people that haven't seen me in a while that my baby is taking a really long time to cook, or that I'm having a double gestational period like an elephant. Believe me I'm beginning to feel a bit like an elephant.

Walking!

Anika finally started walking. She's been taking steps on her own for the past two months, but never really took off with walking until the other day. She always preferred to hold on to something. It was puzzling to me because she isn't a cautious child, and can climb and do all kinds of things that kids don't typically do until after they begin walking.


Here's a little video clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79IeKL7PkzU

I'm happy that she's decided to become bipedal with my growing tummy it's getting harder to carry her. Yesterday we cleaned off one of our outside deck spaces for her to use her ride-on car, walk bike, and slide which are currently in the middle of our living room. I'm looking forward to spring and summer where I don't have to worry so much about the crawling surface and what she'll be attempting to ingest off of the ground.

Surrogate

I started chatting with a woman in the waiting room at my OB's office last week. She had 4 kids and was carrying her 5th baby, but this one was as a gestational carrier. I remarked on what a wonderful gift she was providing. She said she was not sure she'd do it again. Her own pregnancies were wonderful and very uncomplicated, this one, however, has been really difficult. Going through IVF was not too bad except for the IM progesterone shots.  They were successful on the second attempt. Although she is 28, the intended parents are in their late 30's and therefore the placenta and baby are considered from a medical point of view as advanced maternal age. She's had to go through a lot of extra testing and monitoring. She has had severe nausea, bleeding, bed rest, blood clots and other complications.

I shared that my first pregnancy was IVF and this one was spontaneous and what a dramatic difference there was between the two. I don't know if it is related at all? Anyway, I wished her at very least a smooth labour and delivery.

3D Scan

 We had a 3D ultrasound done this week and got to have a sneak peek at little Bub. Looks like he's another chubby cheek!

 Anika was quite curious about what was going on, and kept pointing at the screen and saying "bay-be". I'm not really sure how much she understands, but we do a lot of reading and taking about the baby in mommy's tummy.

Here is a link to the full video (4 min long).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8X2rWlo0kB4

29 week belly

29 weeks already! Honestly, where does the time go? The last belly shot I got was at 13 weeks, so it's long overdue. Anika has been really interested in looking at her baby book and particularly likes the belly pics page for some reason. I guess I'd better get a few more of Bub before he pops out! In the last two weeks he's taken a major growth spurt and I was up 2 kg and 4cm. Anyway, here it is. Excuse the PJ's.

Escapee Toddler Dream

Aren't pregnancy dreams something else! Last night I had a dream that Anika had chewed her crib side rail completely off and I got up to find her loose in the house getting into everything. That's quite a feat for a little girl with only 2 teeth!

I began to wonder about the foreshadowing this may indicate. Are we getting close to having a toddler who can climb out of her crib?

What is our life really going to look like with two under 18 months? How am I going to keep up? I think I need to order my superhero cloak soon. Maybe an invisibility cloak would be better?

"Ball"

Anika enjoys looking at her baby book that we put together. We put a collection of images together in a hard cover 8"x8" book. There's everything from ultrasound pics, to baby bump snap shots, newborn photos up to a few months. She's starting to sort of get the idea of there being a baby inside a mommy's tummy in her own way. The other day she was quite taken by the photo of herself as a 3 day embryo. She excitedly called it a "ball". I told her yes, it's a very special ball called an embryo ball. Well, I guess it's going to take a bit longer to really grasp that concept completely.

Funny Comments

I was at a school meeting this week and a parent of one of the children I see, made a comment that I had a chuckle over. She referred to my enlarging midsection and said "hey, you didn't quite figure out how it happened the first time around". Hmmm??? Well, actually... yeah, not worth explaining that it happened completely differently this go around. We actually are still in shock that sex can actually equal a baby. Anyway, I had a good chuckle and I'm sure she just thought it was her comment that was funny.

Cleavage!

While getting Anika dressed this morning one of her little socks went missing suddenly. I know the pair were together when I pulled them out of the drawer, so I searched the immediate area, inside her pant legs and sleeve, and the missing sock was nowhere to be found. I finally gave up and went downstairs to get another pair. When I returned Anika reached into my shirt and pulled the missing sock out from the front of my bra. I suspect she put it there to start with and was playing a little trick on me to see how long it would take me to find it. So I guess this means I'm becoming very well endowed again as I reach the final trimester of my pregnancy. My ladies were up to a size 36 F when I was first breastfeeding.  Now it seems I'm losing things in my cleavage. Yowswers!

Million Dollar Family

Since we found out we are having a boy, I've had a few people make the comment that we now have the " "Million Dollar Family" or the "Millionaire's Family". I'd never heard that expression before for the "perfect" boy-girl combination. A google search informed me that it goes back to the time when it was important to have a male heir to carry on the family name and assets as well as have a daughter to marry off to a moneyed and influential gentleman, thus increasing your chances of maintaining or gaining power for generations to come.

When I first heard it, my mind immediately jumped to the cost of fertility treatments and how much people with infertility have to spend to have children either though fertility treatments, adoption or both. I guess it's all in your interpretation. I also thought about the extra debt load we will be carrying on our mortgage for the next 10-15 years so that we could even have a fair chance at IVF for one baby. To have a second one thrown in for free is such an incredible bonus.

We certainly feel incredibly lucky -more like a lottery winners of two amazing and totally priceless prizes in the game of life than just ordinary millionaires.

One Year Old

Wow time sure flies! My little girl is one year old already! With the holidays and returning to work last week it seems like I haven't been able to find the time to sit down and blog. I figured since "Bub" (Anika's nickname for her brother to be) woke up early this morning and decided to start the day with some kickboxing that I might as well get out of bed and get my day started too.

So yes, the holidays were filled with lots of family time, great food and lots of sorting through girls clothing to hand down. Anika called Christmas "HoHoHo" and kept asking for a few days if it was going to happen again. She is in love with bananas at the moment and her eyes just lit up when Santa left her a big banana in her stocking. She thought her ride on car was pretty cool too.

Jan 2nd I returned to work full time and DH became a stay/work at home daddy. It's going really well so far, and I'm sure it's easier knowing it's only for a few short months. Anika seems to be adapting to it. I find it hard only seeing her for a short time in the morning and late afternoon before she's off to bed again, but she's always very happy to see me when I am home.

Jan 6th was her first birthday. We celebrated with an open house style party where friends could stop by throughout the day when it worked for them. This ended up being a real hit because everyone has different nap schedules, and our house was always filled with a few people but never an overwhelming number. We also asked for no presents, and although a few people couldn't help themselves and brought things anyway, I think it worked better not to have a whole pile of gifts to open. She did get to open her special birthday gift -the baby doll I found a month back. My sister helped to fashion some boy clothes for him. Anika seems to really like him so far. She's named him "baby boy" and wanted him to join her in her bath and crib the very first night. She likes putting him to sleep with a little blanket, and pretending to feed him.