Some Growth

The marathon MIL visit is almost over. Things did improve slightly after DH talked to her and did a little orientation to our coffee maker, dishwasher, and laundry machines. We also made a rather therapeutic trip to Costco one day and the mall another day. Gawd, if you know me, you'd know I'd have to be desperate to go shopping at a huge store or mall by choice. Desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess. Sunday is not far off...

Anika is growing like a weed. She's over 9lbs now, and I've boxed up her newborn sized clothes to give to another baby. That's the plan -give away or sell everything when she no longer needs it, just like I've done with all of my maternity clothes. I've had lots of people (including my MIL) try to tell me I should hang onto everything for baby #2. Uhm... I don't think so. If we are fortunate enough to get a miracle 2nd child unassisted by ART, then we'll be able to afford to buy the stuff all back again. The last thing I need is boxes of baby stuff cluttering up our storage space, and never getting used again.

MIL Visit -This too Shall Pass

Just a quick vent here -my MIL is driving me crazy! I didn't know it was possible for a grown person to be more needy than a newborn, but that is the reality. I just can't meet her needs as well as my baby's right now.

She arrived from Toronto on Wednesday and hasn't really lifted a finger since she arrived. This does not come as a surprise because this has never been the case when she has visited in the past. Right from the outset it was clear that she was coming to see the baby and not to "help out". Originally she wanted to come in December, but we stayed firm that we needed 2 weeks to bond and get to know our baby before having any out of town visitors. My sweet parents, who have been truly helpful offered to let her stay at their house because they have the extra space and guest bed that we no longer have. She's here during the day, but we get a break at night. I'm sure it's this that has prevented me from completely going off the deep end.

My MIL arrived during one of our infrequent snow storms which has since reverted to a winter rain/ wind storm. She is constantly complaining that she is cold no matter how much we turn up the heat in the house or get her extra layers of clothing. The other day we had to go out, and she made a comment that it was probably warmer outside than in. I actually showed her the thermostat that read 20 C (68 F) because she didn't believe me. Honestly, Toronto has much colder winter weather than Vancouver Island, so it's not like she is having to acclimatize from the tropics.

 She constantly wants to hold the baby, and makes comments about how much she has missed her or how her baby holding time is so limited to try to make me feel guilty for hogging the baby when she needs to feed. My MIL is not able to calm Anika so is really only able to hold her if someone else puts her to sleep first. Otherwise she just gets more worked up because my MIL overstimulates her.

When I do get settled nursing Anika my MIL decides that she wants me to make her tea, get her a snack, or get her the phone so she can make calls. Isn't this what she is supposed to be doing for a new mom? I've now sort of perfected nursing while walking around and doing things with the other hand. The other night I made dinner with a fussy Anika tucked under one arm. My MIL sat by the fireplace doing a Sudoku puzzle. As I was taking everything out of the oven to serve it, my MIL decided that she wanted something else because what I made might be too spicy (it had no spice actually). I managed to scrounge something else together for her, but by then DH and I had to eat ate lukewarm lasagna.

We still have one whole week to go. I hope I can manage not to completely lose it on her. I think we'll try to plan some outings.

Outings

I had to get some blood work done the other day. Who would have ever thought it could be an exhausting outing that would be the only thing I could plan to get done in a day?

It was icy and slushy, so my DH dropped me off at the lab with the baby and he and his mother went to pick up some groceries. Since she had just fallen asleep in the car seat I decided to leave her in the seat and take the whole works with me. Bad idea #1. We have the Graco Snugride 32 - that means it can accommodate a child weighing up 32 lbs, but I think the "32" must also represent the weight of the car seat itself. It's a tank!

I entered the lab and took a number from the dispenser. Of course it was busy and there was just one seat left in the tiny cramped waiting area. I set the car seat down next to that chair only partially blocking the traffic flow, and BING she was awake and starting to grunt. Oh boy. I tried rocking the seat while juggling my big down jacket, her diaper bag, my purse, my health card, lab requitsition, and the little number from the dispenser. Rocking was not going to suffice. She needed to be fed. So, I wrestled with the car seat straps and extract the baby out, proceeded to pile all of the paraphinalia on top of the car seat, got seated in the chair and realized that my nursing cover and any recieving blankets were at the very bottom of the pile. She'd now progressed from grunting to squacking. There were 3 men all watching intently as I whipped out my boob for all to see and got her latched on nicely.

What do you know, but right then my number was called out to check in at the desk! I was not about to break her latch, so I kept her on the boob and walked up to the counter, where I gave the clerk my information. She then directed me to one of the lab rooms, where she said someone would be right there to draw my blood. I just decided to leave my pile of stuff in the waiting room, and carried on to the lab room with the baby still sucking away. She continued to nurse right through the woman taking my blood, and then came off to be burped soon after.

I did not want to wait in the germy environment of the blood lab for my ride, so I packed her back into the carseat, bundled her, put on her hat, dangled my paraphinalia on any empty limb space I had and walked across the parking lot to a quilt shop where I purchased the fabric for her diaper covers. I figured DH would only be a few minutes longer at the grocery store, and we'd be on our way.

After a couple of minutes I didn't want the baby to overheat, so I took off all the extra layers. At this point she began grunting and rooting again. So, I looked around and saw a nice chair with armrests near the sewing machine demos, and took up temporary resisdence again with my pile of stuff on top of the carseat. Luckily the women working in the store thought she was really cute and I showed them her diaper cover and talked about making some more in a larger size in a few months, so they didn't mind me camping out in the store even though I clearly had no intentions of buying anything that day, or even really browse the selections.

Nearly an hour later (no exaggeration) DH finally arrived. I guess my MIL decide that she needed a Starbucks and it was really lined up at the coffee shop! Sigh, it's only 3 days into the 11 day MIL visit and I'm already going a bit loopy. OK, that's a whole other post to come.

We got home and I felt like I'd been on a day trip out of town somewhere, not just to the blood lab. Whew! I'm sure it gets easier. Next time the car seat will stay in the car and I will carry her in my sling (which also doubles as a breast feeding support/cover.

2 Weeks!

My baby is 2 weeks old already. Time really flies!

She is growing and changing so quickly right now it's hard to keep up with it all. She's now sustaining her head up for several seconds when on her tummy. She bats her arms at objects and sometimes accidentally grasps them. She recognizes my voice because she stills when I call out to her.

We know she is hungry when she snorts, then grunts. If she starts to cry we haven't got the memo, but usually we are able to catch her before she gets upset.

Now that her cord is gone, and she can be submerged, she loves soaking in her little bathtub. She especially loves it when her daddy uses the blow dryer on her hair and body after a bath.

Daddy also has the touch with soothing her using the 5 S's (swaddling, side lying, shooshing, and swinging) techniques that we learned from the Happiest Baby on the Block video. Mommy of course is the only one who can provide the 5th S (sucking). I do notice that sometimes she stays on the breast just for comfort suckling after she is done drinking.

Nights are fairly predictable now. I go to bed around 10:00 and daddy stays up with Anika until her next feed around midnight. She then wakes at around 2:30am, and 5 am for feeds, so I get my sleep in 2 hour segments until about 7:00. I get up with her and she often has some alert playtime first thing in the morning while her dad sleeps in a bit longer. I really cherish these morning play times all on my own with her. We read books, sing little songs, chat, play on her mat on the floor, or in front of a mirror. The rest of the day is usually full of sleep, feed, wake cycles and there are so many things to do, and people who want to see her.

My mother in law arrived on Wednesday and will be here until the end of the month. Along with her arrival also came a dump of snow that's making getting out of the house a little more difficult with the slippery roads. I'm hoping this weekend's rain will wash it all away.

1 week Check Up

Anika had her first doctor's appointment on Friday at 7 days old. I took her to my family doctor who I've had for the past 23 years. He technically isn't taking on new patients at this stage of his career, but little Anika worked her charm and he agreed to take her. The last time I saw my family doctor was a year ago when I needed a pre-operative assessment prior to my last hysteroscopy. He was also very kind in supplying me with notes for medical leave time from work for my IVF attempts. The last contact I had with him was the day a copy of my positive pregnancy test results arrived on his desk, and he called to congratulate us. I remember him getting all choked up. From there I was referred to an obstetrician for my prenatal care and didn't have the need to see my GP at all during the pregnancy.

As we suspected Anika is a very healthy baby. She has surpassed her birth weight, and is now just over 8lbs. She slept through the entire visit at the doctor's office while he did his exam. He used to deliver and see a lot of babies, so even though he doesn't do this kind of work much anymore, you could tell he's done thousands of these well baby visits over the years. All systems are a go, and she passed all of her routine screening tests with flying colours. He reviewed all the standard questions and recommendations for baby care with us. We go back at 4 weeks of age for another check up.

First Week of Being a Mom

I've had a couple of lovely messages expressing concern that things might not be going well because I haven't posted an update on my blog in a few days. Thank you, I'm touched. I'm pleased to report it's quite the contrary however. Little Anika is such a joy, and I haven't had much time at my computer because I'm just enjoying getting to know her, and eating, or catching some sleep when I'm not tending to her needs.

DH has booked some time off work, so he's around most of the time and is really smitten with her. He's in charge of cord care, bathing, and taking her picture. We share diaper and clothing changes, and playtime. Her Gramma and Grampa are here most days too, and love to hold her while she naps and this gives mommy a chance to nap without having to listen for little squawks.

She is a hungry little hippo, but fortunately she latched well right from that first moment. As long as I make sure to respond to her little cues that she's ready to eat, and catch her before she becomes upset she rarely cries or fusses. Right now she feeds about every 2 hours and even more frequently during the evening and first part of the night when she cluster feeds. We had to go to the Health Centre yesterday to have her weight checked. She was 7 lbs 13 oz (almost back to her birth weight) so right on track.

Now that my milk is fully in, she is having lots of soiled and wet diapers. I switched her into cloth diapers during the daytime, and have been using a disposable at night. Before she was born I made some cute little diaper covers, and they actually work quite well. Here she is sporting her ducky one.

We've been out every day for a brief walk in the fresh air. I picked up a used baby bivy for our stroller, and it's been the best $25 I've spent yet. We also use it in the house as a second little bassinet during the daytime to keep her close at hand. Here she is going for her first walk to the mailbox to send away her birth registration papers.

What about me? I'm recovering too. My eyes are still quite bloodshot from the hard pushing during labour, and I don't think I've ever had larger dark bags under my eyes to this extent before. It's a good thing I wear dark rimmed glasses. I've got stitches from when I tore, so sitting for too long is uncomfortable but is getting better each day. The most uncomfortable however is trying to have a BM. The sitz baths, stool softeners, and witch hazel pads have been a godsend. I have a flow like a regular period right now, but no cramps or discomfort. Surprisingly my feet and hands are still quite swollen from fluid retention. My breasts are full and nipples are sore from my little piranha, so a tube of lanolin cream is my companion. My tummy is about the same size as when I was about 20 weeks pregnant. I'm 15 lbs lighter since giving birth, so about 1/2 of my pregnancy weight gain is gone. The other half shouldn't take too long to come off with the breastfeeding. The same can't be said for the 25 lbs of fertility drug pudge.  I have a goal to get back down to my pre-IVF weight by the end of the year.That is going to take some work. I booked my post natal follow up visit for Feb 20th, so hopefully I will get the go ahead to start exercising again (aside from the walking I'm doing).

Besides the physical discomforts, I'm still riding the high emotionally of this whole experience.When people remark how much Anika looks like me, they have no idea how touching that feels because reminds me of just how close we were to pursuing donor eggs. I tear up on a regular basis, but not sad tears, just really really happy ones. I know just how fortunate we really are. I do feel sad for my IF friends who have not been so fortunate YET, and hope that they all get to experience motherhood whether it be with their own genetic material, donors, or through adoption.

Birth Story

I have been advised to write down Anika's birth story before I forget the details, so here goes.

I'll pick up where I left off the other day when my water broke on the obstetrician's table at 4:00pm on Jan 5th. He told us we could go home, have dinner and get ourselves ready to go to the hospital later that evening. He called ahead to let them know to expect us.

We arrived at the hospital around 9 pm. I was having the odd cramp here and there but nothing regular. They did an intake assessment and I saw the OB on call. We were offered the choice to induce labour right away or wait until first thing in the morning. We opted to wait, thinking that perhaps we might get lucky and things would start on their own. They then gave us the choice to stay at the hospital, or go home and return in the morning. We opted to stay where they could monitor the baby if needed.

The maternity unit underwent a huge overhaul about 4 years ago, and they put a lot of thought into making it a state of the art facility. The suites are all private and designed for women to labour, deliver, and recover postpartum in. They even have a window seat daybed for the support person, bar fridges, built in sound systems, huge washrooms with soaker tubs, and wireless fetal monitoring. If it sounds more like a hotel desciption than a hospital, that is certainly how it felt much of the time. They'd even knock at the door and say "room service" jokingly when they delivered the meals.

We unpacked our things and settled into the room for the night. I tried to fall asleep, but it was hard because I was so excited/ anxious about the big day to come. I also had these irritating cramps, but because they'd assured me at intake that they were still just false labour I just tried to ignore them. I dozed a bit and at 2:30 awoke with more cramping that seemed to be getting a bit more intense and regular. A few of them even made me get sick to my stomach. I decided to wake DH to help me time them. We determined that they were about 2-3min apart and called the nurse.

She checked me and declared me officially in active labour because I was 4 cm dilated. She reminded us that most often first labours took a long time to progress, so we could expect to meet our baby by the next afternoon or evening. They might even go ahead with adding the oxytocin at 8am as planned to help move things along if it gets stalled. She reviewed all of the drug treatment options available. I told her I was not opposed to taking things if I need them, but I'd like to go along without and see how it goes first. She was wonderfully supportive and helped coach and encourage us both along. The strategies of breathing through the contractions hands and knees, standing/walking, and squatting were working well. By 5:30 am she checked me again and I was the full 10 cm dilated. She called the OB to confirm and the OB was shocked that things had gone that quickly. We carried on until about 7:30am when I started to get a strong urge to push.

There was a shift change at that point too, so new nurses came in and they were just waiting for the new OB to arrive. I got into the birthing bed, and they got everything ready to go. I worked with those pushes and the nurses. They were surprised that I had no IV, and had taken no meds. By 8:00 am the OB finally arrived as the baby's head was crowning.

I continued with the pushing with each contraction. At one point, I thought my head was going to explode with the pressure. There was an intense burning sensation as the head got to the widest part. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to keep going with it. The doctor asked if I wanted to  feel the baby's head. I reached down and there was a mop of soft baby hair! Wow, that motivated me to get the job done. At 8:36 am the baby was out, and on my bare chest looking up at me. The pediatrician came in to check things over. I overheard her say that the Apgars were 9 at 1min and 10 at 5min. She asked if we knew the gender ahead of time. We said no. We'd totally forgotten about that! DH lifted the towel and said "it's a girl!". We'd both thought she was going to to be a he, so what an amazing twist.

The placenta was delivered while we cuddled with our new little bundle. I had some "minor" tearing so they gave me some local freezing and stitched me up. DH and I had picked out a few names we liked for a girl. We both took a look at her and agreed she looked like an Anika. All of the medical staff vacated the room and left us to bond. She remained calm and alert for the next couple of hours, and even suckled on my breast all by herself.

She's a great little feeder now with a bit of help from the nurses and lactation consultant to get latched on deep enough. A little over 24 hours later we were allowed to go home. She wasn't too sure about the carseat! It still feels a bit surreal -she's really ours to keep?!?

Baby Half Dollar is Here!

Introducing Anika Marie Silver born Jan 6 at 8:36 AM weighing in at 7lbs 15oz and 21" long.  Labour was spontaneous, totally unmedicated, and just 6 hours long. Mommy SD and baby girl are happy and healthy and learning the ins and outs of breastfeeding. If all continues to go well we'll be home sometime on the weekend.

Off to the Hospital!

Well, I saw my OB this afternoon. He noted that I looked flushed and asked if I'd been having any more prelabour contractions because I looked like I might already be in labour. I told him I hadn't. Everything looked fine on my check up. He found I was 3cm dilated on the internal exam and my cervix was 1cm long. Even though he was quite gentle with the membrane sweep there was a fair bit of blood. He started discussing the scheduled induction for Tuesday the 10th and giving me instructions about that process when I felt a trickle and told him I thought I was bleeding. He went to check and there was a gush and it was actually my water breaking.

OK, change of plans. Looks like this baby will be coming before the weekend. He suggested we come home and get our things together and head to the hospital this evening. He called there himself to let them know he'd broken the water and I'd be coming in. Well I guess that's probably the best place a person can have their water break if it has to happen that way. This will be my last entry as a pregnant person. Hopefully soon I'll be able to post our news, but it may take me some time to get back to the computer.

Bear with a Sore Paw

WARNING OVERDUE PREGNANT WOMAN'S RANT AHEAD...


How am I feeling? Usually people don't want to hear the real answer, they are just making polite conversation. Here's the real goods. I've hit a new level of uncomfortable, and am grumpy like a bear with a sore paw. My energy and motivation to do things is dropping. My belly button is so taut it feels like it might split in two. My pelvis feels loose and sore, and the pressure of the baby's head on my girl bits is increasingly intense. It hurts to walk, hurts to sit, and hurts to lie down for too long in the same position and if I lie totally flat I get reflux and heartburn. Uninterupted sleep is a distant memory (pre fertility drugs I think). My feet and hands are swollen. The only thing I haven't had since Christmas Eve is any good pain of pre/false labour to let me believe that the end is in sight. I am cranky. Even to get out of the house requires relying on someone else because I'm not able to drive.

We get several phone calls/ messages every day from people wondering what's up, why the baby hasn't come yet, and when the baby is coming. This is starting to drive me crazy. No matter how many times we say -we don't know, we'll be in touch when there is news, they don't seem to understand. I've stopped answering the phone and let DH intercept the calls, but he's even getting frustrated. Yesterday I posted a link on Facebook about 10 things not to say to an overdue pregnant woman after I heard all 10 of them yesterday. Mostly it's the stupid advice on how to spur on labour, suggesting that our dates are off, or the worst -a horror story of someone they know who had to be induced causing a terrible complicated labour or lost their baby because they left it too long. I am well aware of the stillbirth rates of post-term babies, and of course this is my biggest fear. The other one is to get my sleep now, and enjoy being pregnant because life won't be the same once the baby come. Of course it won't be the same, isn't that the whole point of this exercise?

While I have thoroughly enjoyed the experience of being pregnant, anyone who runs this late knows that at this stage of the game pregnancy is no longer overly enjoyable. When you include all the TTC time, it honestly feels more like being years overdue than days. Anyway, sorry for the rant, but chipper Silverdollar has taken a vacay for the time being. Off to the OB at 3:45 this afternoon to see what he has to say. I'll keep you posted.

Here is the link I posted on Facebook:

10 Things Not to Say to an Over Due Pregnant Woman

By Robin Elise Weiss, LCCE, About.com Guide

At 41 weeks, this over due mom is enjoying the beach!Photo © J. Bock

Over due pregnancy is not a disease. It is also very common. In fact, as many as half of babies will go past their due dates. This is something many women don't adequately prepare for during pregnancy. So when their due date comes and goes...it's annoying. On top of being annoyed that the baby is incapable of reading a calendar, they have to deal with most well meaning people who say things to them that are likely to get them in trouble. Here is what you don't say:

1. Now, when was your due date?
   If someone says this to you, try not to bite their heads off. This may actually be valid. So many times, the due date is thrown off by a late ultrasound or how your baby is measuring, which are the least accurate ways to determine when your baby is due.
2. Your belly sure is huge.
   Ouch. The size and or shape of a pregnant abdomen has nothing to do with when the baby is due and may not have anything to do with the size of the baby.
3. Are you sure it isn't twins?
   Of course you're sure. Now please don't hurt them...
4. Have you tried...
   Insert a long list of comments and old wives tales on induction methods to be used at home. These, like their medical counterparts, are as great as they sound, particularly in how well they work.
5. When will you be induced?
   The general answer from the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) is 42 weeks into pregnancy. There are medical reasons for induction of labor prior to this date.
6. Don't sit there, your water might break!
   The good news is that over 75% of the time your water won't break until labor is well established. In fact it only breaks before labor about 12-13% of the time. Sit wherever you like...
7. Doesn't the placenta have an expiration date?
   Nope. While the placenta is the only disposable organ that our bodies make, they aren't ticking time bombs. If your pregnancy goes to 41 weeks, you will likely have special testing to make sure that baby is doing well and so is the placenta, called a biophysical profile (BPP), complete with a non-stress test.
8. Maybe they got your dates wrong.
   Argh, see #1.
9. When I was pregnant...
   Regaling you with stories of their pregnancy may be entertaining. If it's helpful or entertaining, let them continue. If not, fake a contraction and leave.
10. Oh, being over due isn't that bad...
    It can be nice, but when you've got someone reminding you of it or asking why you haven't had the baby yet, it's annoying. The fun guessing game of when will I have the baby does eventually get old. I personally like to remind myself that no matter what I think during pregnancy, postpartum isn't exactly a picnic!

Great Day for a Birthday.

Today is the first birthday of a very precious set of twin boys who's mommy hung on through months bed rest due to placental separation bleeding and cervical insufficiency -incredibly, to make it to her scheduled c-section date on Jan 4th 2011. This is the woman who introduced me to ivf.ca a couple of years ago. We've met a few times in person. I really can't thank her enough, because I do believe without the support and advice of others going through IF, I wouldn't have had the strength to persist as long as we did. So, what better day than Jan 4th to have a birthday! Hear that little Silver -today would be a great day for a birthday, a GREAT DAY!

For today's funny: I have to laugh when I go our places like the grocery store now, and people ask when my baby is due. As soon as I tell them "last week", there is a sudden look of panic, like they should run to get a towel in case my water breaks and I need to give birth on their floor or something.

The Other 2 Week Wait

Well, I am officially on the public dole -or will be in 2 weeks time. My paid vacation and stat holiday pay ran out yesterday, and I completed my Employment Insurance maternity leave application this morning. Now all we need is the baby and we're set!

The 2 week waiting period without pay, is followed by 50 weeks of maternity/ parental leave. When you crunch the numbers, it's really not very much to live off of, but we are so fortunate to have the systems in place to take such a long leave in Canada, and still have a job to return to in a year's time. The rates also went up by $10 per week for 2012, so that was one bonus of the baby hanging in there until after new years.

I've been told it can take 4-8 weeks before receiving the first payment. I sure as well hope I'm not still pregnant by then!

Jan 2nd, 40weeks +2days

Well, we are now past the new years baby idea, but today would be an excellent day for a birthday too. It's the date my doctor predicted from the beginning of the pregnancy (I think because he is on call at the hospital today). It's also the guess date I put on my Sears registry and if you guess correctly, you get a bunch of free baby stuff.

I'm so ready for this baby to come, I just can't imagine another whole week of being this pregnant. The baby's head is really pressing down hard on my pelvic floor now, so it's less and less comfortable to walk around or sit on certain furniture. I've run out of useful things to try to stay busy with, but have some cleaning calling my name that I should probably try to tackle I guess, even though I don't have an overwhelming urge to clean. I think people have the nesting thing backwards. When a woman starts cleaning like mad, they say it's a sign that labour is near. I think she's just trying to keep herself from going totally nuts.

Happy New Year

Well, 2012 has arrived. Looks like a great year to give birth (hopefully sooner rather than later).

Do you think I am typing loud enough for the baby to get the message?

 Come out come out wherever you are...