I've been going to this Yoga for Stress class for the past few months and really enjoying it, until yesterday. At last night's class the instructor announced that she is 11 weeks pregnant and continued to spend the rest of the class stroking her belly and complaining about all the pregnancy symptoms she was suffering. We heard all about the joys of morning sickness. I thought to myself I know what that's like -except my hormonal nausea was caused by Clomid and did not equate to a growing embryo. When she said that she and her husband had waited a long time for this baby, for a fleeting moment I was more sympathetic, until she said it took 3 months, unlike their first who was a surprise. Hmmm... Okay lady, try 21 months and waiting for fertility treatments and your perspective on "a long time" might change. My heart rate and breathing increased and I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. Yoga for stress alright! I wonder if anyone would notice if I crawled under my yoga mat to do my child's pose. Was this sadness, anger, jealousy, frustration, fear? Probably all of the above. Not good yogi qualities, but there are times when I grow tired of being a kind person. After enduring the remainder of the class, I came home and gave myself permission to not return to this class. There were only a few classes left in this set anyway, so I think I'll cut my losses and start looking for another yoga class option. I'll make sure to avoid classes that back onto the prenatal or mommy & me yoga classes, and an instructor past child bearing age would be most ideal.
I actually think this is one of the occasions when you should tell someone how you feel. Write her a letter explaining how you chose her class to help deal with the stress of infertility and get in shape and found her comments so difficult to deal with that you had to change class. If you are very polite you might 1) elicit an apology 2) increase her knowledge and awareness of the reasons people choose yoga.
ReplyDeleteNot everyone wants to be able to scratch their ear with their foot particularly, some people actually do it for peace of mind. Isn't yoga meant to be holistic, and about internal well-being also? She can put that in her pipe and smoke it!
Good Fortune, 26 March 2010 - 06:31 AM
Amen to GF's comment!! Hugs to you.
babatime, 26 March 2010 - 07:02 AM
I don't blame you - I wouldn't feel comfortable in her class any longer either. It sucked when my own RE got pregnant twice (within the same year!) and it's difficult to ignore the elephant in the room.
lizzy6767, 26 March 2010 - 08:20 AM
I so agree with GF. Why should you have to stop going to the class.?We all know how good yoga is for us and it would be a shame that you had to skip out.
lulu69, 26 March 2010 - 12:36 PM
Ick. That sucks. It's like someone invaded your sanctuary. The adult in me KNOWS GF is right. Honestly though, I think I would personally just walk away. I get tired of fighting every battle...
capo, 26 March 2010 - 01:45 PM
I agree with GF. If we don't speak up, even though it's annoying, then people will continue to be insensitive without knowing they are doing so. Ugh, sorry you had to experience that.
sweetredpepper, 26 March 2010 - 02:42 PM
I think I need to walk away from this one. It is my issue, not hers. She didn't know the reason for why I was coming to the yoga class, and wasn't intentionally trying to be hurtful. Of course she is excited about her pregnancy and she has every right to be. Whether I address it with her or not, I don't really want to spend the next 6 months in her class watching her ever expanding belly. I heard back from another instructor at a different studio today and she accepts drop in's for sets that have started already. The next full set of classes starts May 1st. I'll probably go with that seeing as I am booked for a laparoscopy on April 7th and will have to miss a couple of classes then anyway. I also have lots I can practice on my own at home. Thank you ladies... sometimes it's just good to vent.
ReplyDeletesilverdollar, 26 March 2010 - 04:47 PM
Sorry to hear you had to endure this...
May I also suggest yoga classes with men? This type of problem never arises and they are usually quite well-chiseled... ;)
EarthWoman, 26 March 2010 - 04:54 PM
I'm so sorry you had to endure this. How you stuck it out to the end of the class is a wonder! (((HUGS))). I find the unexpected pg announcements that seem to come out of left field have the most power to suck the air right out of you!
Luckypenny, 26 March 2010 - 08:23 PM
In my best moments, I would love to be as staunch and assertive as GF, but in reality I would just be bowing out with you. It would be great if someone educated the instructor about being more considerate of the reality that some of us live, but in fact just looking at her pg belly for the next 6 or however many months would screw will my zen, even if she wasn't rubbing it in (no pun intended).
Sapphire, 27 March 2010 - 04:16 AM
Ohhh, that just SUCKS!!! But it IS kind of funny in a twisted sort of way. (I'm sure the instructor would have felt just awful if she had realized how bad she was making you feel.) I hope you find a new and stress-free class. I like Earthwoman's idea ...
impatient, 27 March 2010 - 06:33 AM
I too think this is funny, and I am glad that others can share the humour of it. I love the idea of a well chiseled male instructor -maybe I'll look around a bit more. There would be guaranteed to be no zen-reducing belly rubbing going on in his class.
silverdollar, 27 March 2010 - 03:14 PM