Vent warning! My workplace has 45 women and 5 (now 6) of them are currently pregnant and another 4 are on mat leave. Nobody at work know about my struggles, except one gal that did IVF. I'd rather keep it that way because I don't want a bunch of nosy Normas asking all the time how things are going. I don't know why but pregnant people seem to be attracted to me, and seem to confide in me, or at least love to complain to me about all things pregnant. I try to be a nice person, but I think I'm getting more bitter.
It's been quite a morning so far for this infertile in pregnantville. To start the day, a pregnant co-worker came into the coffee room and I watched in horror as she filled her oversized Starbucks travel cup with full caff coffee while I sat there sipping my fertility friendly cup of hot water with lemon. She then started rummaging through the cupboard and threw a little fit because we were out of honey (didn't think she was supposed to have that either) but bit my tongue and suggested she add it to the shopping list. Then still in the coffee room another co-worker who is having a scheduled C-section next month started telling me about how terrified she was about it. It turns out her OB is the same one that just did my surgery, and she will be meeting him for the first time next week. I ended up reassuring her that he was a good Dr. etc. Then less than an hour later yet another person announced her pregnancy status to me. I managed to squeeze out a very flat "congrats". She is 11 weeks and has been just been put on lifting restrictions by her doctor. She informed me that I will have to do all of the lifting for the patients we have in common. Ahem! I'm still fairly freshly post-op myself here. Oh well, suck it up, soldier on. Now for lunch and hope the afternoon is a little smoother. Maybe someday I'll earn a membership to the club too?
Dear Silverdollar - you are totally justified in venting and I completely understand your annoyance. I've been there (hey - who am I kidding? I'm still there) and, if I were you, wouldn't lift a thing post-op. I recently had a miscarriage at 19 weeks (after 2 years of unsuccessful fertility treatments) and my mother-in-law decided to give me the 10 minute baby update on the weekend about everyone's newborn babies, complaining about people's respective labours, c-sections, etc. Sorry for venting on your blog, but I totally get it! Enjoy the hot lemon water...
ReplyDeletetoronto31, 30 April 2010 - 01:23 PM
*hugs you tight*
XO
~*Megan*~, 30 April 2010 - 02:30 PM
Silverdollar, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through, I too have been there myself, I always feel like I attract pg women. Maybe you need to get your Dr to write you a certificate of light duties....you can ask him not to state why. It is no ones business why you are on restricted or light duties....it's a private health reason and once you get that from your Dr, your employer has to comply. PS: You can tell your Dr that there are a tone of people at your work with back complaints, pregnancies and other health issues, and they are all on light duties, making your work load physically heavier...and you want to take it easy to give yourself every posible chance of falling pg. I am sure he will understand. I wish you all the luck!
Anahera, 30 April 2010 - 03:13 PM
Sorry to hear you're going through this. your office sounds a lot like mine - in an office of 30 women - 10 are off on mat leave right now! seriously? 4 went off within a month of what would have been my due date - hearing each of their announcements was like another jab. then the jokes about something in the water and how fertile our department is just about sent me off the deep end. then once at a meeting - 4 of them brought their babies in at lunch (I congratulated each of them and then went off for a long walk until the meeting resumed) but then they all stayed in the next room breastfeeding and burping crying babies while we were trying to have our meeting... needless to say it was distracting for all.
I'm really sorry you're going through this - I find that I stay briefly to be polite, say something nice, then quickly excuse myself to go do some work away from where the preggos are - not sure if that will help or work in your situation. hope your recovery from surgery goes quickly and smoothly.
:pray:
nervus optmist, 30 April 2010 - 03:44 PM
Thanks ladies! Sorry for the outburst there. At least I don't cry anymore, now I just get annoyed. The afternoon was a lot better than the morning thank goodness.
Toronto31 -Sorry your mom just doesn't get that it would be hard for you to hear the pregnancy updates. I remember once my mom, in her strange way of trying to make me feel better about not being the only one that needs help in this department, told me about a friend's daughter who had just gotten a referral to the same fertility clinic and got her appointment straight away. OK that's great for her, I don't know how that was supposed to make me feel better when I had 7 months to wait to just get in the door.
Megan -thanks for the hugs. Fingers crossed for a good news update from you soon!
Anahera -The ObGyn doesn't want to see me again until I need prenatal care, and is leaving me in the hands of the RE who doesn't want to see me until June. My ObGyn does not have me on any activity or lifting restrictions. I'm allowed to do anything as tolerated, so I've been asking for help for the heavier stuff as needed. It's just harder when the pool of people who can help is getting smaller and smaller. My employer is aware that I had gynecological surgery 3 weeks ago.
ReplyDeletenervus optmist - Uggg Your office does sound like mine. People bring babies in all the time. I usually just say a quick hello and pretend I'm in a bit of a rush to get somewhere else. There are constant comments about the water and speculation about who's next, I try to duck around these as best I can.
silverdollar, 30 April 2010 - 05:01 PM
:pray:
Luckypenny, 30 April 2010 - 05:08 PM
....sigh! sorry you've had a tough day - TGIF at least.
joyfulintent, 30 April 2010 - 07:17 PM
Sorry for your tough day, it is not fun being in those types of situations.
LesleyM, 30 April 2010 - 08:06 PM
Thanks joyfulintent and LesleyM. Yes, it's good that it is the weekend. Chin up, carry on, back at the grind on Monday.
silverdollar, 01 May 2010 - 08:08 AM
Oh my god. I could have written this!
I work with 39 nurses and 9 are off on mat leave, and 8 are pregnant! 2 of those 8 are still off on mat. leaves! Its a baby shower or baby talk every damn day and the complaining about how uncomfortable pregnancy is is almost too much to bear! All I know that if one day I am LUCKY enough to be uncomfortable because of my pregnancy I won't be complaining and instead I will do my best to cherish every moment, and to be sensitive to those around me. The world is full of stupid, self centrered, clueless people and while most days I am suprised they are all sitting around my lunch room table, I will never be one of them!
Good luck at work and have a great weekend!
trying4apositive, 01 May 2010 - 08:31 AM
That must be tough to get through the work day. But you've found the right place to vent! We all get it. I once had to deal with FOUR pregnancy announcements from friends in 8 days! And this is while I was doing IVF. I even had to sit through a slide show of baby bellies - I kept thinking about my polkadot belly from all the injections.
impatient, 01 May 2010 - 09:09 AM
trying4a+ -Yes, I vowed long ago not to complain about pregnancy symptoms if I'm lucky enough to have them.
impatient -A slide show of belly bumps -you have to be kidding me! Maybe we should start a slide show here of bruised bellies?
silverdollar, 01 May 2010 - 10:37 AM
HI silverdollar---I logged on and saw your post and instantly knew how you were feeling. This week I hear three announcements from my girlfriends...all of who literally got pregnant within 2-3 months of trying. I barely got the congrats out on the third and was relived I was on the phone so I could quickly conceal my sadness at my own situation. I realized I can only handle one baby announcement at a time.
I'm now dreading the amount of baby showers I will have to get through! uughhh
fingers crossed, 03 May 2010 - 07:57 PM