13 May 2010
So here's the catch. Today Hubs just got an incredible opportunity to travel for work to Europe from May 24-June 4
. I hate to cancel or postpone the RE appointment because it took some work to get this date. I'm also anxious to get going an moving forward with some form of treatment as soon as we can. I'm thinking of just going to the appointment on my own. We might be able to get Hubbie connected in somehow on the phone, but I'm not sure about this. I don't want it to come across to the Dr. like we aren't fully committed to this process together. What do you think? Have you attended appointments solo, if you are doing this with a partner?Thanks in advance!!!
Silverdollar - Are you able to get your original appointment back if you're uncomfortable going alone? I haven't been there but I would want DH there.
ReplyDeletedawnkey, 13 May 2010 - 05:51 PM
He won't be back in time for that one (June 4th) either!
silverdollar, 13 May 2010 - 05:56 PM
I think most REs understand that people have lives outside of IF treatment. I'm sure he can phone conference in. FWIW, DH was only on the phone with me for my last ER/ET. He even gave a frozen donation, because of work travel! All of the REs/nurses I dealt with were very compassionate.
feydruss, 13 May 2010 - 06:04 PM
Oh, that's crappy....
I'm sure that Dr.H won't think that you don't have his support, if you need to go alone.
dawnkey, 13 May 2010 - 06:05 PM
I don't think there should be an issue. Life happens! I went to most of my 2nd IVF appointments by myself - except for one where I brought my Mom!
Are you already familiar with the surgery results? If not, you might want to bring someone with you because (from experience) it can really suck to get bad news when you're by yourself, plus it's nice to have two sets of ears to take in all the details.
impatient, 13 May 2010 - 06:08 PM
I think it's completely okay if you go on your own. Over theses past 2 years that we have been going through fertility, my husband hasn't been able to make all of our appointments due to his job. However I always had my mom or my sister come with me just for some extra ears in the room. Good Luck!
WithHope, 13 May 2010 - 06:13 PM
There were time when either DH or I was not available. We always had phone consults since we were out of town and whoever was available took the call and took notes. I think it is fine to go on your own, even better to bring an extra set of ears!
capo, 13 May 2010 - 06:31 PM
Thanks ladies! I already got my surgery results from the ObGyn that did the surgery. Stage 1 endo adhesion and polyp -removed.
silverdollar, 13 May 2010 - 06:37 PM
I would definitely keep the appointment. If your DH can listen in via phone, great, but if not don't stress about it. I know you have some idea of the results from the surgeon, so hopefully there won't be any surprises. My post op appointment was all of about 5 minutes long - def. not worth forgoing an opportunity to Europe for work. You will probably talk about the next steps moving forward, but I think you have talked about this with your doc. before your appointment, so again there shouldn't be any surprises. You don't have to make any decisions the day of your appointment re. dates or procedures. If there are any options you can think about it, talk it over with your DH and then decide.
ReplyDeleteI think your Dr. is Dr. Hudson? From feedback from other patients of his here, and also from his replies to questions on the Ask the RE form, I would say he seems like a super compassionate doc and I don't think he will judge or question your DH's commitment to this process.
If my DH couldn't make it to an appointment I would be disappointed, mostly b/c our clinic is 2 hours away and I always take the day of appointments off and we spend the day together. But in all honestly my DH absorbs very little of what our doc says, and has a good knowledge of my doctors pictures etc, cause that's what he pays attention to :Emoticons09780:
Luckypenny, 13 May 2010 - 07:03 PM
My DH had to give his sample to me and then go to work, he still hasn't met my Dr since switching clinics, I don't think. Better for your DH to travel now, and be able to be home later, when there are kids, I think. :Emoticons09780:
My DH is a contractor so doesn't get paid if he's not at work. If your DH is comfortable with you explaining any literature your Dr may give you, that's good too. Plus, as noted above, some DH's (mine included) don't really pay all that much attention (although some do).
s00n, 13 May 2010 - 07:32 PM
It's okay to go alone silverdollar - it happens sometimes. I went to lots alone - once Mum even came. Do you have any good buddies or family members who could come in his place - just for an extra set of ears?
It's good your dh has the work opportunity. Your doctor won't think twice about his commitment I don't think. He probably has to let his wife down occasionally too!
Edie, 13 May 2010 - 09:54 PM
While it sucks that DH can't be there, I would still go alone if you are comfortable with that. My DH hasn't been able to make many of the appointments because he work isn't as flexible as mine so I figure we might as well save up his work absences for times when we really need it. My RE said that was pretty common.
Good luck with your decision! :Emoticons09780:
Erin_G, 14 May 2010 - 04:55 AM
Ask your RE to summarise everything discussed in a follow-up letter, that's what my RE does.
I used to worry about appearing uncommitted - until I now find myself on my 5th IVF! I think commitment speaks for itself! Don't worry about this. It is not for the clinic to judge you on that level. That's ludicrous. They'll be happy to take your money either way.
Good Fortune, 14 May 2010 - 05:31 AM