20 August 2010
Progesterone can sure play with your head. After a full 2 weeks and no sign of Aunt Flo whatsoever, I'd almost convinced myself that this could maybe be it. I trucked off to the lab early this morning and waded through the line up with all the seniors to have my beta done. Then it was straight to work visiting other people's babies. This afternoon, I came home a little early from work to wait for the results. When the call came the receptionist sounded really cheery. Then she delivered the news of the lab report:
Serum Pregnancy Test
NEGATIVE Non pregnant female < 5 IU/L
She asked how many IUI's this was. When I told her three, she said that Dr. H was really busy, but would review my file sometime next week but he'd probably recommend trying IVF next. Ok, I knew that was the plan but it still hurts to hear the reality of it. Sigh...
I have a grocery list of questions to ask, but right now I'm too sad to really process anything anyway. For now, I'll let this sink in and go from there. Hubs and I decided that we are going to take the next month off just to be. No injections, no tests, no appointments. We've got some major financial sorting out to do.
Thank you to all my cheerleaders here for all of your kind words of support. It's just not my time yet I guess. Maybe someday it will be. I really don't know anymore.
Serum Pregnancy Test
NEGATIVE Non pregnant female < 5 IU/L
She asked how many IUI's this was. When I told her three, she said that Dr. H was really busy, but would review my file sometime next week but he'd probably recommend trying IVF next. Ok, I knew that was the plan but it still hurts to hear the reality of it. Sigh...
I have a grocery list of questions to ask, but right now I'm too sad to really process anything anyway. For now, I'll let this sink in and go from there. Hubs and I decided that we are going to take the next month off just to be. No injections, no tests, no appointments. We've got some major financial sorting out to do.
Thank you to all my cheerleaders here for all of your kind words of support. It's just not my time yet I guess. Maybe someday it will be. I really don't know anymore.
I am so sorry. It really is amazing how with the projesterone in our systems and sheer hope and will we seem sure it is a positive, and it is amazing how hard the fall is. I know how rough it is to be surrounded by others babies all day and by a huge number of pregnant co-workers too. If you ever need to vent, you know I am here. Cuddle up to DH and take some time to heal. I so wish you had gotten a positive result. I am so so sorry. :Emoticons09780:
ReplyDeletetrying4apositive, 20 August 2010 - 07:11 PM
((((HUGS SILVER!!!!!!!))))) :Emoticons09780: I'm so sorryyyyyy..i was thinking about you all day...
Raspberry, 20 August 2010 - 07:44 PM
I am so sorry, I was hoping as I do for myself and that is very very much.
Sctsgrl, 20 August 2010 - 07:45 PM
Oh man that's crap! Sorry this wasn't the ticket for you. Poop!
DeeJay, 20 August 2010 - 07:59 PM
I'm sorry. Even with everything we know and do to prepare ourselves for every possibility, sometimes this whole process still feels like a complete crapshoot. You've been so stoic through this, and I'm filled with admiration for your strength. I think it's great to take a little time off to "be" and think about the next step you want to take.
feydruss, 20 August 2010 - 08:00 PM
Oh Silver, I'm so sorry (((hugs)))(((hugs))) and more(((hugs))). Stupid progesterone.
alanna, 20 August 2010 - 08:53 PM
SD!!! OMG...I'm so sorry. I thought of you all day today :Emoticons09780: Big hugs...I know how you feel. I felt the same way with the progesterone and then got the kick in the stomach known as BFN. My heart goes out to you.
BeanSprout, 20 August 2010 - 09:09 PM
Darling Silverdollar, I am so sorry. I was, and am, pulling for you. ((HUG))
gibasgirl, 20 August 2010 - 09:20 PM
BIG HUG
hope2011, 20 August 2010 - 10:08 PM
:Emoticons09710:
dawnkey, 21 August 2010 - 12:48 AM
I'm so sorry. You really have been such a trooper through all of this, facing everything with humour and strength, and I really thought this would be it for you. I hope your month off gives you the space and refreshment that you need to take that next stop. Huge hugs.
conky, 21 August 2010 - 06:23 AM
Thank you for all the kind words. It really helps. I guess you'll all have to endure at least a few more months worth of blog posts.
silverdollar, 21 August 2010 - 06:31 AM
Big hugs silverdollar
LisainSK, 21 August 2010 - 06:49 AM
I am so sorry that you got a BFN Silverdollar. I think taking some time off before proceeding is a good plan. It will allow you to "regroup" and consider next steps. Keep your chin up! Thinking of you! ((Hugs))
leigh14, 21 August 2010 - 06:54 AM
My heart goes out to you Silverdollar. I am right there with you.
mominthemaking, 21 August 2010 - 10:21 AM
on no I'm so sorry. It's so frustrating. I'm glad you are able to take a break, it's so nice to focus on something else.
You have to blog and tell me all the lovely things you are doing instead of fertility stuff. Take care
Toronto28, 21 August 2010 - 12:41 PM
I'm so sorry that the IUI's didn't work out:( Take sometime to regroup and enjoy DH. We'll be here cheering you on the whole time.
Ames, 21 August 2010 - 06:53 PM
Big Hugs. Keep believing :Emoticons09710:
baby4us2, 22 August 2010 - 08:59 AM
Big HUgs! Keep hoping!
DiXie, 22 August 2010 - 10:40 AM
More hugs today. Thinking of you. Hang in there.
rhubarb, 22 August 2010 - 05:00 PM
So Sorry Silverdollar. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteBabyHope2010, 22 August 2010 - 08:28 PM
Terribly sorry for your bad news (nurses should be trained to use an empathetic tone when delivering bad news, those extra milliseconds of hope when you hear a cheery voice are definitely unwelcome!). Enjoy your month away from drugs and waiting rooms and focus on yourself. Good luck with IVF!
Kiwi, 23 August 2010 - 06:34 AM
Awe honey... sooo sorry you got the dreaded BFN!!! I was really hoping this was gonna be it for you -that you'd be one of the lucky and not need to resort to IVF!!
I remember that pain.. the pain of failing our 3rd and final IUI... I'm so sorry you have to go though this!!
Know we're all thinking about you andpraying that you're a lucky one when it comes to IVF and it works the first time... with twins! hehehe
I'll continue rubbing Journi for you....
Bella16, 23 August 2010 - 08:31 AM
Big hugs...I'm sorry to hear it wasn't positive.
Dempie, 23 August 2010 - 08:31 AM