Aunt Flo Schedules Her Winter Visits

20 November 2010

My dearest great niece,

I am writing to tell you about my wonderful news. Seeing as the court date for my eviction has been postponed, I’ve booked my train tickets for my winter stays. This way, I can make my regular visits regardless of the weather. I’ve included the dates below, so you’ll know when to pick me up at the station. I can always catch a taxi if needed though. I just love coming to the coast, even in the monsoon season. It’s so green and lush.

Oh, I’m so happy I got in touch with that fertility clinic and they eventually agreed to cancel your IVF cycle. I piled on my charm thickly and they were most obliging. Sorry about all the money you lost in the process. That is most unfortunate, but that's the way the litigation system works sometimes.

Well toodles! By the time this letter reaches you, I’ll already be unpacking my bags and my heavy winter clothes.

Your Beloved Great Aunt Florence