09 November 2010
I spent yesterday catching up on where all my little patients were at, and putting out all the major fires first, and scheduling in the rest for visits over the next couple of weeks. I also realize how out of shape I am, and am getting back on track with my normal exercise routine to be able to keep up with the physical demands of my job.
I now have an even bigger appreciation for some of the parents who are dealing with grief and loss of having a child with special needs or major medical issues. I can imagine when they dreamed of having a family and started TTC, it never entered their minds that they would be dealt this card. But here they are and they are stepping up to the challenge, and it is my role to support them.
Some are in the earliest stages of the grieving process, and still very much in denial, while others are angry, very sad, or have moved to acceptance. Perhaps this is why the newborn visits are so much harder than the older kids. I think it might not be physically holding the babies that I struggle most with, it is that the parent’s emotions are so raw. To be in a raw, emotionally depleted place at the same time is tough.
Even mothers that used drugs and alcohol while pregnant, abused their kids, or lose them to government care are not for me to judge. Everyone has their own story with multiple chapters. The reality is you can’t change the past, you can only learn from experience and make better choices in the future.
I've thought about changing careers to maybe work with elderly people, but know that wouldn't be a fit for me. I am also the primary income earner, and with the cost of fertility treatments, not working is not an option. So, it's soldier on and hope that some day a maternity leave is in my cards.
It sounds like you have a pretty demanding job, both physically and emotionally. I understand all too well about wondering whether a maternity leave would ever be in my cards.....sometimes the road is not how we imagined it to be and somehow can end up being more like a maze. But you WILL find your way out to the other end. Wishing you nothing but the best in your journey.
ReplyDeletejoyandpeace, 09 November 2010 - 07:29 AM
I was thinking of you and hoping your first day back was OK. Sometimes being busy with distractions is a blessing.
I'm cheering you on and sending tons of good vibes!
:)
Erin_G, 09 November 2010 - 07:32 AM
Congratulations on making it back in, and getting through the day. I admire your strength in the face of everything.. not to mention the "several" pregnant co-workers. Thinking of you, and sending hugs & best wishes.
rhubarb, 09 November 2010 - 07:57 AM
Returning to work is very difficult and more so for you in your position. I wish I could have your strength to soldier on. All the best!
Dempie, 09 November 2010 - 02:07 PM
One day at a time, you sound like you are doing just great. You've a gorgeous big unselfish heart and I hope that over the next few months you enjoy the festive season and preparations for the next marathon. Sending lots of warm wishes to your ward!
Kiwi, 10 November 2010 - 05:30 PM
(((HUG))) It sounds like you have a very rewarding job that makes the difference in the lives of many people. Your courage and positive attitude also makes a difference in the lives of many people here. Thank you for that!
daydreambeliever, 11 November 2010 - 06:06 AM