24 September 2010
I saw my family doctor (who I've been with for 23 years) yesterday to ask for a note to take a medical leave from work during my IVF cycle. It is not a decision that came easily for me and not something I am taking lightly. My reasons are multifactorial including the travel commitments to the out of town fertility clinic, the nature of my work with infants and children with disabilites involving 100% mental presence & emotional energy, as well as the physical demands of the job including lifting, bending, twisting, and jumping. There are no provisions for replacements or subs, so when I'm off sick my patients get canceled and have to wait to be rescheduled. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am putting my own kids first (even though my kids doesn't exist just yet).
Enroute to the Dr.'s office I was listening to the CBC radio and they were talking about the Quebec IVF funding and had a medical doctor on who was opposed to this medically unnecessary procedure being covered, and then there were listener opinion letters read out, all very negative again about how this is waste of health care dollars for a lifestyle choice etc.
Thank goodness it was a short drive to the Dr.'s office.
As I sat in the waiting room, I started to worry that my GP might share this feeling about IVF. I wondered how many medical doctors out there don't see this as a medical condition worthy of treatment. Is this really the most commonly held belief out there amongst Joe public? Grrr....
My GP was more than understanding of the situation and shared that someone in his own family did IVF a couple of years back. He was surprised I made it through 3 IUI's without taking more time. He was happy to sign me off for as long as I needed. He wants nothing more than to see me get pregnant and he asked me to leave a phone message for him if we do have success with this cycle. He apologized that our medical system couldn't do more and really hopes that it won't be long until the other provinces follow Quebec's lead. Step one, down.
When I got back to work, I told my employer that I was having a medical procedure that would require time off and gave her the note. I didn't want to give more detail than that. It's not that I'm embarrassed about doing IVF, I just don't want a ton of questions at work about whether it worked and if I'm pregnant yet etc. It's hard enough to hold it together working with babies everyday while dealing with all of my own stuff. Work is the one place I can be "normal" and not talk/think about IF. Instead I got a ton of questions about my "surgery" and had to come up with a lot of vague responses. I know it is out of concern but
Step two, complete.
Now for the rescheduling part with the families of my little patients, and letting my co-workers know I'm not going to be available. One step at a time I guess.
Enroute to the Dr.'s office I was listening to the CBC radio and they were talking about the Quebec IVF funding and had a medical doctor on who was opposed to this medically unnecessary procedure being covered, and then there were listener opinion letters read out, all very negative again about how this is waste of health care dollars for a lifestyle choice etc.
Thank goodness it was a short drive to the Dr.'s office. As I sat in the waiting room, I started to worry that my GP might share this feeling about IVF. I wondered how many medical doctors out there don't see this as a medical condition worthy of treatment. Is this really the most commonly held belief out there amongst Joe public? Grrr....
My GP was more than understanding of the situation and shared that someone in his own family did IVF a couple of years back. He was surprised I made it through 3 IUI's without taking more time. He was happy to sign me off for as long as I needed. He wants nothing more than to see me get pregnant and he asked me to leave a phone message for him if we do have success with this cycle. He apologized that our medical system couldn't do more and really hopes that it won't be long until the other provinces follow Quebec's lead. Step one, down.
When I got back to work, I told my employer that I was having a medical procedure that would require time off and gave her the note. I didn't want to give more detail than that. It's not that I'm embarrassed about doing IVF, I just don't want a ton of questions at work about whether it worked and if I'm pregnant yet etc. It's hard enough to hold it together working with babies everyday while dealing with all of my own stuff. Work is the one place I can be "normal" and not talk/think about IF. Instead I got a ton of questions about my "surgery" and had to come up with a lot of vague responses. I know it is out of concern but
Step two, complete.Now for the rescheduling part with the families of my little patients, and letting my co-workers know I'm not going to be available. One step at a time I guess.
I think it's great that you're taking time off. I think being able to relax as much as possible and focus on the treatment and yourself can be a component of success.
ReplyDeleteWhen I took "medical leave" I got some curious questions as well. I just said it was personal and most people shut up. If they persisted, thinking that I had cancer or something, I said "I'm not going to die from this issue, but it affects how I live."
Good luck!
feydruss, 24 September 2010 - 07:04 AM
I am so glad you have such a sensible doctor! And, for what it's worth, I think you have done the absolute BEST thing for you and your future babies. THe only other thing I would suggest is turn off CBC until after you're done cycling! (This will help keep your stressors to a minimum during this time... And hopefully, you'll have NO regrets once your cycle is over. You'll know you did everything you could...)
Your comment about them indicating IVF is a lifestyle choice is interesting because so is smoking but no one would try and stop lung cancer patients receiving treatment (granted IF won't technically kill you - it just feels like it sometimes!). Another prime example of ignoramuses out there spouting opinions on a topic of which they are absolutely ignorant.
Feydruss's reply to Nosey Nellie's works for me too. Some people just don't understand that sometimes asking those kinds of questions is just plain rude. I was always horrified when someone would ask my mom how her mother committed suicide. SERIOUSLY???!?!? Does it matter? She's dead, all the same. And truthfully, none of their business to begin with.
Best of luck to you on your cycle! I'll be checking in for updates!
'chelle, 24 September 2010 - 07:21 AM
Oh, I'm glad you're taking time off. And that your doctor was so supportive. Hugs.
conky, 24 September 2010 - 07:39 AM
Good for you, Silverdollar. I wish I had done the advance planning that you are doing for when I had my IVF. Instead I was stressing at the last minute and second-guessing myself about whether I really should take the day off or not. You are smart! This last week being back at work after being on bedrest for hematoma, I have come back to some raised eyebrows, too. MYOB, people!! One person flat out asked me, "Are you PG?". Um, let's see, members of my family don't even know yet, so the answer for you is "NO".
Good luck with this cycle! :lol:
rhubarb, 24 September 2010 - 11:05 AM
I took the week off between after ER and since it's very busy in my office, I said I was having minor surgery done. I work mostly with men so when a few asked what it was for (out of concern), I simply said 'it's a woman's issue' and they would physically recoil, no questions asked. :lol:
Dempie, 24 September 2010 - 11:07 AM
Thank you all! Such good advice about not listening to the CBC.
silverdollar, 24 September 2010 - 11:49 AM
Boo, Hiss, to those CBC callers!
ReplyDeleteOn a similar note, I recently reviewed my insurance claims from the last year and noticed that Clomid was marked as "Elective Treatment". Electing to ovulate? What a concept.. The real kicker is that my birth control pills were marked as "Prescription Medication" - Figure that one out! LOL
Hopeful16, 24 September 2010 - 12:44 PM
I took off one month during our 2nd IVF (we had also had 3 unsuccessful IUIs) and it was the best decision I ever made as we got pregnant. I was able to take the month off to unwind and just do things for me - I can't tell you how good a month it was. We knew this IVF was our last one and when all was said and done I didn't want any regrets. My MD was fully supportive of it as well and I also got lots of questions at work but just said it was an abdominal surgery. I let my immediate manager know what was going on and he was fully supportive of my time, shared with me that his sister went through the same thing. Anyhow, wish you the best of luck.
thisisit, 24 September 2010 - 04:07 PM
Good for you for taking some time off.
My excuses ranged from a bad back (to explain why I couldn't lift things) to 'a female thing' - no one ever wanted more details about that!
impatient, 24 September 2010 - 05:10 PM
Crumbs, Nosy Nellie boss is full of questions about my "surgery". I never actually said surgery, I said medical procedure. Any suggestions on how to get her to stop with the 20 questions? I was thinking about sending an e-mail to my department (of which she is the head) to let them know about my time off and state that I didn't want a lot of questions. Maybe she'd get the hint. Most people have common sense that when you say you are having a medical procedure they don't push any further for details. So far since yesterday I've had:
"is it serious? I hope you are going to be OK"
"will they be able to do it laparascopically or do you have to have an open incision"
"can you have it done in town, or do you have to go to out of town?"
"do you have to be in the hospital long?"
I could go on, but you get the point. Arghhh...
silverdollar, 24 September 2010 - 10:29 PM
I'm really glad that your doctor was so supportive. I think you are doing a wonderful thing putting your own family first. This is definitely down the 'path of least regret' that seems to come up so often on this site. I wish you all the best with your cycle :giggle:
Toronto28, 25 September 2010 - 06:41 AM
I often wonder about some doctors, too, and their attitude toward IVF.... Anyway...I wish you the very best of luck this cycle! Can't wait to hear some good news!
heres2hoping, 25 September 2010 - 06:20 PM
Oh,you could try, No worries, it isn't life threatening, just not fun.
I think my 2nd time,when I said, "its not life threatening" most people were like, OH ok...and left it alone. But everyone is different and some are nosier than others! *smile*
heres2hoping, 25 September 2010 - 06:22 PM