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Thursday, 16 September 2010

Wrong Membership Card Issued.

16 September 2010

A couple of years ago I sent away for a membership to the mommy club. I got a response in the mail with a shiny card to Club IF. Ever since then I’ve been trying to convince the powers that be that there must be some mistake. I never applied to Club IF. Their response has always been the same. Nobody applies to Club IF, they just siphon off 15 % of the mommy club membership applications and place them in Club IF. Unfortunately once you are there, it can take a lot of work and money to bribe your way out, although a few get lucky and manage to escape relatively easily.

But, they have assured me that Club IF offers monthly activities to keep members occupied including:
  • Pregnant belly staring contests
  • Un-baby showers, bring your cat or turtle
  • Share your injection tips nights (figuratively of course)
  • POAS athons, bring your own urine cup
  • Spooky story telling evenings by fireside starring the HSG and the endometrial biopsy, and other horrors.
  • IF fun day including three legged sperm races and egg on a spoon balance

Please note food and drinks are served at club meetings, but nothing fun. Alcohol, caffeine, and sushi are all off limits.

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1 comment:

  1. Silverdollar25 June 2011 at 20:57

    Brilliant and refreshing as always.
    I happen to be one of the 15% too. Do we have a secret handshake?
    gibasgirl, 17 September 2010 - 05:36 AM

    Let's form an executive and come up with a secret handshake. There's also a couple of other threads here about club bracelets/stickers/pins. Hmmm... maybe were onto something here.
    silverdollar, 17 September 2010 - 05:52 AM

    Too funny but sooo true!!!
    Deb35, 17 September 2010 - 06:24 AM

    i wanna quit the club!!!!!!!
    tiffjo, 17 September 2010 - 07:09 AM

    OMG I am laughing so hard right now!! I love the monthly activities!! I always love your blog!
    BabyDuster, 17 September 2010 - 08:12 AM

    :rofl: I love your blogs!
    So, when's the next meeting? I'll bring the wheatgrass and the royal jelly if you can bring the Gonal F.
    impatient, 17 September 2010 - 09:01 AM

    Sure you bring the cheap stuff, while I get the pricey one eh? Seriously though, we should get together again soon. Vancouver? Victoria?
    silverdollar, 17 September 2010 - 12:05 PM

    This is totally inspiring me to have a meetup "club" meeting in Ottawa. That would be so cute! I have to say, although I hate club IF, i have one hell of a party coming up in October and it'd stink to be pregnant during a 2500 person extravaganza, so for NOW and now only, I'm ok being in the not-pg club. :rofl:
    s00n, 17 September 2010 - 12:19 PM

    Love it, your great sense of humor surely deserves you an honorary discharge! You have my vote!
    Kiwi, 17 September 2010 - 04:32 PM

    LMAO Silver - you have THE BEST SENSE OF HUMOUR EVER!!!
    I keep thinking of the horrible pic on my Costco card...
    Zuu, 17 September 2010 - 04:50 PM

    Perhaps another activity: scrapbooking for all those pharmacy receipts?!
    I love this blog, Silverdollar. It is magic to be able to chuckle at ourselves on our own terms :rofl:
    rhubarb, 17 September 2010 - 04:59 PM

    Love it! We could come up with lots of ways to entertain ourselves! :rofl:
    silverdollar, 17 September 2010 - 05:39 PM

    l.o.v.e. it!
    joyfulintent, 17 September 2010 - 07:46 PM

    Too Funny! I love it :rofl:
    Jennabee, 18 September 2010 - 07:33 PM

    ReplyDelete

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