28 October 2010
I knew it was bad news when the RE asked us to sit down with him in his office after the u/s. For the first time in many months of getting bad news at the clinic, I broke down and cried in front of him. My RE assured me that he would not have done anything differently than the fill in doctor recommended. He does not think upping my dose would have changed the outcome. My ovaries pooped out just when they've been called to duty. I'm only 33. Shitty hand to be dealt.
The game plan is to do an IUI on Monday as a last ditch salvage effort, but the odds are very low with the lining issue. They told me that the last 3 IVF to IUI conversions the have done resulted in pregnancies. That is great for those patients. Somehow that just does not make me feel better about my situation at all. Sort of like those stories people love to tell you about their best friend's cousin who ate cantaloupe and low and behold after 7 years of trying got pregnant with triplets.
After I wean off my dexamethasone, he wants me to start on DHEA for 3 months, have another hysteroscopy and D&C (done properly under anesthetic in the hospital), then attempt IVF again in Feb or March. He might tweak my protocol, but I am already on an aggressive one so he'll have to do some thinking. I don't know if I've got it in me to be quite honest. We'll see.
So sorry, cancelled cycles no matter what the reason REALLY suck. Let's hope you are one of those lucky IUI'ers who get PG! Fingers crossed.
ReplyDeletehoping_it_will, 28 October 2010 - 02:58 PM
I am so sorry. I am a poor responder as well and even after changing my protocol I still only ended up with 5 embies. (and that was for PGD and they all were abnormal) It sucks. :Emoticons09780:
kacik, 28 October 2010 - 02:59 PM
So sorry SD, hope you have luck with your IUI!
Emily81, 28 October 2010 - 03:01 PM
Hi Honey, I was praying for better news for you. I don't know what to say that will make you feel better except that Dr.H is a very honest man with an extremely high integrity level. If he wants you to try again I would trust him and have peace that he really thinks you have a shot at this! He is very honest and would have told you to perhaps move on if he didn't think you could be successful.
Also, as many woman on here can tell you, your ovaries will respond differently every single month, this could have just been a lower month.
Last but not least, you can succeed with 4 follicles, we will pray for a bigger party next time, but you CAN succeed with just 4 follicles.
HUGE HUGE Hug honey! I am so sorry you have to go through this!
Pm me again if you have any questions or need to chat.
xoxox
HugsALot, 28 October 2010 - 03:07 PM
I'm so sorry. We all know this scenario is a risk with DOR and IVF, but it doesn't make any less difficult to take when it happens. I hope you find the strength to try again if the IUI doesn't give you a happy surprise. For now do all the sobbing you need to and take it easy. Thinking of you.
conky, 28 October 2010 - 03:08 PM
:lol: Argh for those success stories that are supposed to reassure. I hate those, too. I am so sorry things turned out this way -- shitty hand, like you said, Silverdollar. You have been so strong even when so much is being asked of you.
rhubarb, 28 October 2010 - 03:27 PM
I'm so sorry Silver..
Life is just so unfair sometimes. Sending you HUGE
((HUGS))
Raspberry, 28 October 2010 - 03:40 PM
Oh Silverdollar, I have tears in my eyes. I am so so sorry.
trying4apositive, 28 October 2010 - 04:01 PM
damn girl, you've been through a lot eh?
DeeJay, 28 October 2010 - 04:14 PM
:aggahhh: That just sucks.
dawnkey, 28 October 2010 - 04:16 PM
:aggahhh: I'm so, so sorry. I was hoping you'd finally get a break. This IVF game really sucks, especially when they go and break the rules. 33 is way too early to be having these issues.
impatient, 28 October 2010 - 04:44 PM
Hun...I know what you are going through. I'm only 31 and have crappy eggs and ovaries too. With some help, meaning two estrogen therapies, a whack of supplements and twice weekly electo-acupuncture, I can get my lining to cooperate. But I am so sorry this is happening to you and your DH. You are in my heart and I am just so sad you are feeling so much despair right now. I am hopeful for your IUI. I know in time you will feel better but for now grieve all you can for the hope you lost in this upcoming IVF cycle. I'm sorry and big hugs.
LisainSK, 28 October 2010 - 04:53 PM
I am so sorry this happened. What rotten news. I am a poor responder too (fsh, quality & quantity issues + endo) and medicated cycles (iui & ivf) beat the crap out of me. Our last RE suggested a 'natural' cycle and although it did not work, my egg quality was much, much better. We were heartbroken by the bfn, but I could have faced a few more of that kind cycle. Just know that if you decide to move forward there are options that are not 'easy', but less hormonally devastating.
ReplyDeletecapo, 28 October 2010 - 05:22 PM
Silverdollar,
I'm so very sorry that your cycle has been cancelled. I can totally understand why you cried in your doctor's office. I did the same when my first cycle was cancelled. It's such a huge investment--emotionally, financially and physically. I think that crying is a good release of pent up stress and emotion. I am sending you some very big cyber hugs.
leigh14, 28 October 2010 - 05:31 PM
I am really sorry. I don't have any great words of wisdom, just wanted to send some hugs
smc, 28 October 2010 - 06:00 PM
Hi, I am really sorry to hear about this. I hope your IUI will be successful! My first IVT attempt was also converted to IUI (I am 31). I was very sad and disappointed.
My RE is going to change my protocol to flare protocol the next time around. He said that's used for "poor responders". I think maybe flare protocol may work better for you as well? Also, my understanding is that poor responders should not be put on birth control pills before the stim, because that super-suppress us. My RE has not given me any birth control pills (I think he doesn't use any BCP period). I hope you don't mind that I am talking about the next cycle already, I just want to share with you what I believe to be right (which may not be 100% right). I hope your IUI works this time, and you won't need any of this. best of luck!
want2babies, 28 October 2010 - 06:44 PM
I am so sorry. I hope and wish you all the best in your next step.
ReplyDeletelove2bemom, 28 October 2010 - 07:04 PM
Thanks you guys.
We've been given a 5% chance of this IUI working because of the lining. It's almost worse having to go through the motions of continued injections 4 times a day, trips to the clinic, and 2 more weeks of waiting than to just be able to stop all together.
I'm already on a flare protocol with micro suppressants, and doing electro-acupuncture.
Can't say I didn't try.
silverdollar, 28 October 2010 - 07:13 PM
Oh honey - you have it in you - we all do. It's amazing what us women have to deal with and yet we keep finding the strength to carry on and continue fighting.
I'm sooo sorry your cycle got canceled - I cant even imagine what you feel like right now. **HUGZ**
If there's anything I can do, just say the word- after all, we do live fairly close to each other.
Dr H is a true miracle worker, continue to have faith in him!! He's always told people like it is with no sugar coating, so if he says he can still knock you up (hehe) then take him for his word - he is one dedicated man and will do everything in his power to make it happen.
Also, I know how you feel about it not making you feel better when they said the last IUI's resulted in pregnancies - stuff like that does NOTHING to make a girl feel better at that time. Nothing but a good hard cry, a hard run (if you're a runner) and then a fatty fatty meal, topped off with 'tee many mar-toonies' will make a girl feel better!!!!
I'll rub wee Journi for you... send some of her luck your way...
HUGE HUGZ!!!!
Bella16, 28 October 2010 - 07:40 PM
I'm so sorry. :th_aggahhh:
feydruss, 28 October 2010 - 08:04 PM
I can hear the sadness in your words (de ja vu) and I am so sorry this isn't working the way you planned and hoped it would.
It is a long hard road but try to remember, that while you haven't yet reached your destination, YOU WILL!!!!!
We all have bad days, days when it seems to hard to go on, but we do go on and we borrow the strength from the warriers on this site when ours has dwindled.
Reach out, lean on us and borrow all that you need.
Best of luck with the IUI and big hugz.
DragonSpirit, 28 October 2010 - 08:22 PM
I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteVicki_E, 29 October 2010 - 06:36 AM
As someone who has gone through this... I am so sorry. In my mind a cancellation might be worse than a BFN.... as you were never really given a shot:( I know this fear all too well and it scares the hell out of me as I contemplate my 3rd and final attempt. Try to keep the faith...you never know with the IUI.
lulu69, 29 October 2010 - 07:09 AM
Oh SD. I'm so sorry for you. I've still got everything crossed for your IUI and hope that you get a nice surprise. If not, then hopefully a few months break and DHEA will help you get a bumper crop of eggies.
Sending you lots of ((HUGS)). Go easy on yourself
Erin_G, 29 October 2010 - 07:09 AM
That sucks silverdollar. I'm so sorry.
kerrilyn, 29 October 2010 - 07:18 AM
Sending you a BIG hug Silverdollar! I was to have my first IUI this cycle but the "fill-in RE" cancelled it due to lining issues as well! Instead, he gave me the HCG trigger shot to take and told me to talk to my regular RE when she returned. I am in the 2WW now. I took (and I am still taking) Royal Jelly/Bee Pollen, CoQ10, pomegranate juice and weekly acupuncture. Anything under the sun that improves egg quality and lining! Anything! I also started meditating (Google Anji meditation)...she has different meditations for natural cycles, medicated cycles, IVF cycles, etc. They are short and sweet. I wish you the best. I have followed you on the forums and was really crossing my fingers for you on this cycle.
Z12, 29 October 2010 - 09:12 AM
Thanks for the advice everyone -different things work for different people. I've spent the last 2 years doing everything under the sun to improve our odds. At this point I need to do less, not more.
I'm going through the motions to get through the IUI. Then we'll have some closure on this and move on.
silverdollar, 29 October 2010 - 01:09 PM
I know this is late, but just wanted to say I am sorry, too. crappy.
heres2hoping, 31 October 2010 - 08:35 AM