12 October 2010
We stayed with an old buddy of Hubbie's and his wife over the weekend. They have two beautiful children ages 4 and 1, both conceived easily. Because I felt so rotten after that horrific procedure, and because I knew I'd be refusing offers of coffee and wine, we told them about doing the IVF mainly to avoid the "are you pregnant" or "when are you going to have kids" queries.
She is one of these people who is full of advice about things she knows nothing about. We got suggestions about timing intercourse, taking vitamins, and of course the all time favorite -relax. She even told us all about someone she knows who used a surrogate and now has a child, and thought this should be something we should consider. Oh, and you know if you adopt you'll get pregnant. Bite the tongue, bite the tongue.
The topper was during one of our conversations, she had the nerve to try to relate to my IVF experience by comparing this to the tummy tuck she is having because she just can't seem to lose the post-pregnancy weight! Silverdollar's brain thinks: Hmmm... lets see, the only similarity there, is that they both involve the abdominal region and the cost is over and above what the public medical system covers. Aside from that, I just can't see any similarity. Honestly, to have that problem! I'd give anything to trade my flat tummy for a family. By the way would that be a second helping of pumpkin pie I just saw you eat?
She is one of these people who is full of advice about things she knows nothing about. We got suggestions about timing intercourse, taking vitamins, and of course the all time favorite -relax. She even told us all about someone she knows who used a surrogate and now has a child, and thought this should be something we should consider. Oh, and you know if you adopt you'll get pregnant. Bite the tongue, bite the tongue.
The topper was during one of our conversations, she had the nerve to try to relate to my IVF experience by comparing this to the tummy tuck she is having because she just can't seem to lose the post-pregnancy weight! Silverdollar's brain thinks: Hmmm... lets see, the only similarity there, is that they both involve the abdominal region and the cost is over and above what the public medical system covers. Aside from that, I just can't see any similarity. Honestly, to have that problem! I'd give anything to trade my flat tummy for a family. By the way would that be a second helping of pumpkin pie I just saw you eat?
SD, that's just crap. I'm so sorry you had to sit through her ignorant drivel. ((HUGS)) I'm impressed you were able to bite your tongue. I would have had a hard time not snapping back! With all you went through with your biopsy procedure, you are certainly once tough cookie. Like the cookie that fell behind the stove, with 2-year-old rock hard macadamia nuts.
ReplyDeleteBaxie, 12 October 2010 - 08:06 AM
OMG. That type of ignorance is so annoying!!!!! She clearly has no idea of what she is talking about -- best she keep her mouth full of pie to avoid offending the next person. Grrr!
rhubarb, 12 October 2010 - 08:42 AM
oh wow, so annoying :wall: so, just to backtrack - are the vitamins and relaxing going to help you to find the surrogate. Seriously - annoying :th_awhopedo: How you managed to bite your tongue is beyond me. Do you have any of it left after this conversation? And how you managed to not turn the tables the tables around and point out the correlation between the pie and the need for a tummy tuck and start dishing out some unasked for advice - good for you to rise above it. Hopefully your visits with this couple will be few and far between ;).
Luckypenny, 12 October 2010 - 09:13 AM
What a fricken idiot. I hate when people do that!! Do they really think they are helping?? Its like they want you to say "ooooohhhh really????? I have NEVER thought of relaxing??? And using a surrogate??? Wow!!!" Ugh. And it's ALWAYS the fertile myrtles handing out the "assvice".
papoose76, 12 October 2010 - 09:38 AM
It is very annoying. Unfortunately most provinces health officials putting IVF into the same medically not justified unnecessarily optional procedure as plastic surgery so we have to pay for it. No surprise that everyday people will think along the same line.
Ope, 12 October 2010 - 11:06 AM
I had to cut some so-called 'friends' out of my life for similar reasons, she was always giving unwanted advice - relax being the most common. Even after I told her that I had a medical condition she still told me that DH and I just needed to go away for the weekend and have drunk sex. LOL!!! It's just so absurd!
dawnkey, 12 October 2010 - 11:20 AM
arghhhh I hate people who butt in where they shouldn't!!!! Tummy tuck vs IVF is a joke of the year!
ReplyDeleteDiXie, 12 October 2010 - 11:28 AM
LOL!!! What a charade you had to go through...secretly hoping she'll gain back her belly after the tuck?!! LOL...
LisainSK, 12 October 2010 - 11:37 AM
WoW. That's all I can say. Good luck on this cycle.
hoping_it_will, 12 October 2010 - 12:07 PM
LisainSK, on 12 October 2010 - 01:37 PM, said:
LOL!!! What a charade you had to go through...secretly hoping she'll gain back her belly after the tuck?!! LOL...
LMFAO!!! I would be!!
papoose76, 12 October 2010 - 01:02 PM
I hope the tummy tuck leaves scars.
Wow, I know it's human nature for people to want to express that they can understand what others are going through ... BUT ... comparing infertility to elective cosmetic surgery???
impatient, 12 October 2010 - 01:16 PM
you are a bigger and better woman than I am...
...and I mean that figuratively, for the record... I soooo love reading your blog.
'chelle, 12 October 2010 - 01:50 PM
You did the right thing, don't know how you did it but what would be the point in saying anything of sense to this person!
I was told on numerous occasions by well meaning in-laws that eating pine nuts would help me to get pregnant. I have no fallopian tubes!!! I ate them when they were around and after 2 IVF's and 2 FET I did get pregnant and guess what...that's right they said it was because of the pine nuts!
When you are pregnant this 'lady' will say 'see I told you if you just relax it will happen!'
The you can say, "I heard about a woman who stopped eating cake and she got thinner! But I don't like to listen to gossip LOL
Toronto28, 12 October 2010 - 05:39 PM
A nice big scar and the tummy growing back are on order with Karma! LOL!
silverdollar, 12 October 2010 - 06:26 PM