I logged onto Facebook the other day to yet another pregnancy announcement. This one bugged me more than usual though. It was an ultrasound photo and the woman had started a "my pregnancy week by week" application telling me she was at 14 weeks. Wait a minute... I went to their wedding this fall in the throes of my IVF cycle, and low and behold that was 14 weeks ago now. As I looked back at my calendar I noticed that I'd be at about this mark had my cycle been successful. Punch in the gut. I promptly hid her and all of her applications from coming into my notifications.
As icing on the cake, she had also changed her profile photo to this image below.
I’m so crafty, I make people
Well, good for you! I’m so clumsy, I need a whole team of people to help make embryos that may or may not become people.
Trouble is my version may not fit as easily on a T-shirt!
I know EXACTLY how you feel !! I actually had to completely get off FB for this same reason. A supposed "good friend" who knew that I was going through IVF made an album about her entire pregancy which included positive pregancy tests, ultra sound pics, weekly updated stomach pics, etc.. Also, daily status updates that all had to do with pregnancy.Every time I signed on, I was reminded about what I didn't have and I couldn't handle it anymore, so I deactived my account and cut her off. I know thats harsh, but I need to stay positive and having to deal with that was not helping my situation!
ReplyDeletezoe101, 13 January 2011 - 07:51 AM
Ugh. My cousin's wife uses that 'week by week' application too. It seems rather juvenile to me. I'm not sure why people seem to think that the whole world is as interested in their pregnancy as they are.Besides, I think you're way craftier than some boring fertile who gets pregnant right after getting married (yawn!). Weren't you going to make some fabulous Christmas decorations from all the IVF drug needles? Now THAT's crafty!
Baxie, 13 January 2011 - 08:44 AM
That picture is so smug -- ugh. I hate that feeling of when you do the math and realize as you were hanging your head crying or biting your nails through cycling that someone was just going about "getting lucky" in both senses of the word. It does feel personal, even though it isn't. Glad you hid that stuff from your account.
rhubarb, 13 January 2011 - 09:17 AM
I love how fertile people make it sound like it is such an accomplishment to get pregnant with very little effort. Getting pregnant via fertility treatment, now that's an accomplishment since we really have to work hard to possibly get a success. Unfortunately, what you have experienced can't be avoided even if you are no longer on Facebook. A co-worker of mine just announced recently that she is pregnant, and talked about how this was unplanned and such a complete surprise. This is her fourth child. Although I know this pregnancy has nothing to do with me, I couldn't help but think that here is another story of someone who is already blessed with multiple children and I can't even have one. I guess even after all this time I am still unable to accept how unfair infertility is.
Dancerchick, 13 January 2011 - 10:43 AM
I thought I was pretty crafty for waiting to try to have kids until we were financially stable, DH finished school, I went to law school, and my in laws stopped being medical train wrecks. That's why ART is so much fun!!DH used to say when he was in family medicine clinic during his training, why is it the non-stop smokers on assistance who have the 5 kids?! I guess my plan wasn't quite as good as theirs? Maybe they're craftier!?I still have a milk jug FULL of empty little vials from the menopur and diluent. Maybe I can make a collar for the cat or something.....a trivet (like those wine cork ones!)?I have always thought FB should be called bragbook. Even if it's not about kids, I have one SIL who is always posting, look what I just bought, and where I just went on vacation, and this restaurant that I just went too......but maybe I'm just a bitter old hag about it and my life is boring - I did almost block her once though!Ok, I'm rambling - great post btw!-kj
kjbabies, 13 January 2011 - 11:26 AM
Groan, gag, puke ...
ReplyDeleteimpatient, 13 January 2011 - 01:48 PM
GROSS! People are such self-centred assholes on facebook! I just blocked my first person (well, her updates anyway) because every day is some comment on her first child or her pregnancy AND her profile picture is a creepy 3D ultrasound photo of her unborn child. Oh, facebook friend, I didn't realize you were a fetus! You look so...young! Hug hug.
conky, 13 January 2011 - 05:45 PM
Two words: 'slut' and 'hoe'
wannakid, 13 January 2011 - 06:20 PM
OMFG This sounds like the exact situation I'm going through. I put her ass on "hide". She just happens to be 14 weeks too. I wrote a post about this on here called "IF amnesia". FFS. I hate when women gloat that they "make babies" and those STUPID "I carried a child.." status updates... Facebook drives me crazy some days... :)
papoose76, 13 January 2011 - 07:11 PM
I do know the feeling...I have a similar situation...During my 3rd or 4th IUI, a coworker who knew what i had been going through was on her 4th month of TTC. Her and I happened to be on the same cycle this particular month and she came to work one morning with a HPT asking me if I could see the line and if that was a positive (she hadn't even told her husband at this point!) She followed it up with thanking me because she followed my cycle (when I went in for insemenation she dragged her husband to the bedroom!) Her son is now 7 months old and i still have a hard time looking at him without thinking..."I helped make him!" Grrrr!I think she owes me a thousand bucks!! LOL
Born2B, 13 January 2011 - 07:25 PM